:/ This bitch right here. My guess is that I’ll need yet another one to determine if I have sleep apnea. This whole thing is such a massive pain in the ass, I just want to cry.
I had a sleep study at home a couple years ago because I’m a pretty low-energy person and the doctors wanted to know if there was something wrong with my sleep. It showed sleep apnea. So I tried a CPAP, and I could not sleep with it on. I tried for like a year. I think I got maybe one night of sleep with it in that whole time. So I decided to ask if I could get a mouth guard or something else to treat it. But then they wanted me to do another at-home sleep study. I did, and it showed no sleep apnea. So they wanted me to get one done at a sleep center. After putting it off for like a year, I finally made the appointment a few days ago and got it done last night. But, as per the title, I didn’t fucking sleep. I think it was at least partly because of the thing that connected to my nose–I have trouble tolerating things on my face while I sleep.
I hate this so much. I know that living with untreated sleep apnea is really bad for you, and it makes me so anxious to know that that’s probably going on with me. I won’t even know the results of the “sleep” study for another 2-3 weeks, and then I’ll probably have to make another appointment to try again. Fuck this. No wonder I put it off for so long.
I know putting things off is a bad idea, but I have ADHD, so I do it anyway. My executive dysfunction is pretty bad.
I’ve tried meditating and I didn’t much care for it. It killed my emotions and made me feel dead inside, when I didn’t just fall asleep. Which I guess technically does help with anxiety, but I don’t like the way it made me feel. And I suppose it could help me with getting to sleep, but I don’t usually have a problem with that–my problem is that I apparently stop breathing during the night, assuming I do have sleep apnea.