A few years ago I left my abusive ex. Now I’m a 27 year old single mother and my son is 12. I work 2 jobs and take care of my son. Ask me anything.
what made u decide to finally leave ur ex?
Typically his physical/sexual abuse was only directed to me behind closed doors and never towards our son. One night, he came home super drunk (Suffered from alcoholism) and started loudly yelling at our son randomly. I stepped in and he slapped me. That’s kind of when I decided I had enough, and I told him to leave. He broke down and I convinced him to go to rehab and I ended the relationship.
Why didn’t you get an abortion?
I grew up in a pretty religious household so that was kinda immediately off the table. But honestly, I’m not super religious myself and I am pro-choice. I won’t lie and say I never considered it, but I feel like I would have always wondered what my son would have been like had I aborted. Personally, I felt like I had a good enough support system to raise a kid even at my age. Now, I have no regrets and I’m extremely happy with how things have turned out raising a son.
How’s your relation to your parents nowadays? Can they help you when you need help? And how did they react when they found out you were pregnant?
I have a pretty good relationship with my parents now. They definitely help me with taking care of my son every now and then. They are kind of pressuring me to try dating again.
When I first told them I was pregnant, my dad was pretty pissed initially and my mom was super disappointed but they kind of cooled off and became more supportive which I appreciated.
-What do you do for a living now? (Without doxing yourself)
-How do your son’s friends respond to you being so young?
-How is your relationship with your son?
I work for part time for quest diagnostics and as a waitress on weekends.
I don’t interact too much with my son’s friends, but they are usually pretty surprised when they see me. I remember opening the door when my son’s friends came over for the first time and one of them asked if I was his older sister!
My relationship with my son is pretty great. Recently he’s been kind of his pre-teen era but we’re still very close. I feel like being a younger mom also helps me relate to him a little more.
Oh you’re the woman from the other question! Sorry I just connected the names. Well it sounds to me like you’re doing pretty well, teenagers are fucking horrendous in general and the fact he’s still close and talking to you at all is a success in and of itself
- How old was your partner at the time?
- How did you balance child care with school, was it one of your parents?
- Did one of you have to drop out of high school as a result?
My ex was a year and a half older than me so he was 16 almost 17.
Managing high school while having a kid was difficult but fortunately I had grandparents who were willing to take care of my son while I was at school. My mother also helped a bit, but both my mother and father were working full time.
I never fully dropped out, but I did take a semester off to recover from giving birth and all of the stress. My partner continued school as well.
Were you picked on at school because of it?
Hearing comments from other people about me having a kid was probably one of the hardest things to deal with at school. I could sense judgement even from teachers just from the way they looked at me. Also being a POC in a mostly white town didn’t make things better. Luckily I had a few supportive friends who would always check up on me and stuck by me.
Do you regret it?
I definitely have no regrets of becoming a mother. My son is my whole world, and I love him so much. I’m a big believer in everything happening for a reason, so I’m grateful for whatever comes to me.
How wholesome
