I posted about my friend once, Jaiden. Just for background or recap, I encountered Jaiden on a post about abusive parents. We chatted in the DMs of Reddit and became friends on Discord.
Jaiden has a lot of disabilities, including autism, C-PTSD, and ADHD. She has dealt with a lot of trauma in her life. Plus, she is a trans lesbian sheltered from the world. She is seen as a guy with transphobic and homophobic parents who are narcissistic/have NPD.
She has been traumatized in other ways that I will not name. However, despite not having resources and being very poor and sheltered, she is very ambitious. She constantly vents to me and others, so much so, that others have left her besides me, and has a whole list of things she wants to accomplish.
She wants to become very rich, talented, and good at everything. She also wants God to fear her, she said. She wants to become better than everyone else so that everyone will idolize her and become impressed.
When I question how realistic it’d be, she lashes out at me, but when I go along with it, she gets mad at me for believing in her and keeps asking me why I believe so much.
She believes she’s some sort of hero, which she might be. She has dealt with so much trauma, plus, she says she wants to become a celebrity and that her friends are celebrities or well-known.
What do you think of her information and how can I help?
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Coming from a guy more than double your age;
You can not fix people like that. And she sounds poisonous and dangerous.
I’m sorry. Take care of yourself.
(i also have a lot of shit do deal with, disabilities and other stuff)
Dangerous how besides lashing out at times?? IDK if she’s broken or broken AND toxic.
For one, the lashing out will wear you down and change you.
The other thing is that I have a hunch your effort might as well be turned against you. You will put in effort of helping a person you can not help and will likely also be hurt.
I appreciate your effort of wanting to help. But this is out of your league except if you’re a trained professional.
This might sound very unspecific to you. But imagine someone juggling too many knives and you’re trying to catch them (untrained), you’ll both get hurt.
There are red flags all over the place. We can go into details but it’s not worth it since literally every detail might be completely different than you’re aware of and the whole bunch of it is just a huge warning to keep yourself safe.
EVEN if she means well and all is true it does not mean you are not in (psychological) danger.
You don’t know this person from adam, not truly. Proceed with extreme caution. I have no doubt this person has disabilities, but for all you know, her parents are secretly okay people with a troubled daughter they are trying to care for. Unless you are filthy rich, you have very few options. You can encourage her to leave for a shelter, pay for her online therapy, or simply allow her to continue to vent. Without knowing this person irl or their circumstances, I would do my best not to jump to concrete conclusions.
As a former compulsive liar (as a child), I wanted a lot of attention. My family was strict but okay. I lied that they hated me on Discord and that they wanted to hurt me.
I was also going to say, this person sounds narcissistic. Sometimes, narcissistic people will say one thing, when it’s really the reverse. How do you know that other people bullied her and that her parents hate her? She could have been the one bullying others with parents who care. We don’t know.
Plus, no normal person wants to be God or to have God fear them.
Thanks!!
I would not believe her. This reeks like attention seeking at best, or straight up narcissism at worst.
Note that narcissism seems to be at least partially hereditary. So if it is true that her parents have NPD, she is problably has too. Especially with the behaviour you describe.
The lashing out when people question their abilities reminds me of all the lashing out the most famous narcissist in the world does: Trump. Anytime someone calls out his bullshit, he goes on a rant, trying to discredit the person or organisation calling him out. Similarly to how your friend lashes out when you question their delusions of grandiosity.
I recommend, at the very least, to make sure to set some extremely clear boundaries for yourself, and accept that if they are crossed, you cut all contact. Because trying to help another is pointless if it just creates another victem. But I would distance myself from this person. Even if she does need help, I doubt you can provide it.
