She told me I trauma dumped on her and I was looking to trauma bond. Which I think isn’t true since I disclosed to other dates from the get-go I was bipolar because I am one of those who think it’s better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached. Some people are just not okay dating with mental illnesses and that’s okay. So I prefer to say it in advance.
She said she is disabled too and won’t be capable of taking care of me all the time, I have taken it badly because as I said to her I am not looking for a mother. She told she’s got “nurse syndrom” which is basically in the context of romantic relationships, is a psychological phenomenon where an individual, often a woman, feels a compulsive need to “save” or “fix” their partner. I told her I find that infantilizing I do not want a mother or someone trying to save me, yes I am disabled but yes I can also take care of myself like a grown-up, I am not 6 years old looking for guidance. I said to her I do not feel comfortable pursuing the relationship.
AITA for thinking she’s the one showing red flags?
Nah, sounds like you dodged a bullet. Telling you they have some kind of compulsion to fix people says more about their inability to address their own problems without making it yours. Letting people know about a complex issue like bipolar disorder up front is perfectly reasonable.
Thank you. I’m having nice conversations with a cute girl and when I displayed my bipolar disorder she said it was okay and she had anxiety, social anxiety and depression which felt nice not to be judged. She also told me she’s got another chronic illness she’s not ready to talk about for now, which I am totally okay with.