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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Cryptid-Fan on 2024-11-06 19:57:55+00:00.
In my early 30’s, I (now 40F) worked for a university as a Project Manager. We were state funded, and therefore every nickle of spending had to be run through our department Accountant, who was not terribly well liked. She was very nit picky, would demand documentation on some expenses but not others, and would be very condescending when she “had” to send stuff back for correction (aka done to her liking, it had nothing to do with being incorrect). Rumor had it that she only got and stayed in her position because she was related to a board member. That being said, I got used to her shenanigans pretty early and just did my best to get my purchases through her as quickly as possible so that I could continue my projects.
About a year into my employment, I was handed a project that had been initiated by our Director. It was a 5 year training program that was described to me as “The Director’s Baby.” My Manager got it off the ground and then passed it to me to maintain for the remainder of the program. I threw myself into this program not only because I enjoyed what I did, but also the Director was cool as hell (I’m still friends with him on socal media) and I wanted the program to succeed for him.
I had a Project Coordinator that worked with me for detail stuff like ordering supplies and working with facilities (my focus was on budget, content, and working with the clients). After she and I had run several successful training sessions under this new program, we needed to order more supplies of standard training stuff like pens, note pads, name tags, etc. Something else we regularly used, per the Director’s request, was boxes of tissues, which for some unknown reason was not something we could get from our office supply vendor. My Coordinator had been buying them in bulk at a warehouse store with her purchase card and then storing them in the basement, only taking what we needed for each training session.
When she went to submit the receipt for the new container of tissue boxes, the accountant lit into her about how tissues were not an approved purchase. Even when she showed the accountant an email from the beginning of the program showing that the director has requested tissues be provided to the participants, she stated that the Director didn’t make or enforce the purchasing policy (which is technically true). When my Coordinator, who was normally a very bold and brassy lady, came into my office looking defeated and told me she was going to have to take the tissues back unless the accountant received “sufficient written justification”, I got pissed.
I could have pushed the issue up the chain, but I didn’t want to bother my Manager or the Director with this nonsense. Instead, I decided to do what I do best, be annoying. One thing I am good at is writing extremely detailed bullshit. I can elaborate on any detail, no matter how small. I’m especially good at it when I’m mad. So I popped myself down in front my computer and, in one go, wrote a five and a half page email (we did a print preview to see exactly how long it was) on why we needed boxes of tissues for this program. I never put in there “because the Director said so”, but I listed off every other possible justification and then wrote a mini essay on each of those points. My Coordinator was sitting in the corner of my office giggling as she watched my hands fly over the keyboard.
I sent the email around noon. Just before quitting time, my Coordinator stuck her head back into my office to let me know that the tissue purchase had been approved in our system. I never got a reply to my email, the Accountant never said anything to me or my Coordinator, but my Coordinator never again got pushback on buying boxes of tissues.