Every time I go outside to my yard, my elderly neighbor comes out and tries to talk with me. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. I go out to relax and do gardening and yard work, and his presence makes me increasingly anxious & leaves me feeling particularly uncomfortable/unsafe.

He is dealing with dementia, and has become increasingly vulgar and outspoken, and even made some vastly inappropriate remarks about his wife & my other neighbor while my child was right there.

His wife is tired. I know this. Christ, I would be, too. He was kind of insufferable even before the dementia got bad (think him talking about his shitty political views), but, god… I am so tired of babysitting him while I try to unwind in my own yard. He’ll talk over the fence or simply waltz past it and follow me around while I try to do stuff or as I’m trying to talk to my kid.

One thing I know is this: do not piss off your neighbors, because, chances are, you will probably be living next to them for a looooong time.

What can I do? I just want peace without feeling like I’m being accosted.

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    5 months ago

    Option One (Lawful Neutral):

    Always be wearing headphones.

    Just pretend you cannot hear him, and then if he is so annoying as to come around and see you visibly, you have a visual indicator that you are listening to a book or music or something.

    Option Two (Chaotic Evil):

    You now also have dementia / gaslight his dementia.

    Who are you? Why are you talking to me? Don’t you remember you left the stove on? Wow, look at at all the beautiful butterflies! (there are no butterflies). Don’t forget about your doctor’s appointment, its in 10 minutes!

    Option Three (Neutral Good):

    Suggest a variety of low physicality hobbies to him.

    Coin collecting. Model Trains. Amateur Astronomy etc.

    Ideal outcome is he manages to get absorbed into something that sticks and this results in less time being annoyed by him, and when he does talk to you it is more likely to be less random, and about said hobby. Further, if he can become attached to some hobby, you are likely bringing joy to his life and giving his wife a bit of a break.

    Option Four (Absolute Chaotic Madness):

    Inject him with Compound V.