I either have an exciting plan,
or when that fails, no plan (I resign).
Since the exciting plans usually fail, I end up living on autopilot.

I really struggle making things in life move. There’s too many simultaneous Big Tasks* whose logistics I need to keep track of that I can’t hold them all in my head at once (I can only focus on one Big Task at once). Especially when most tasks are timelines where you need to wait for responses, compose emails, search for things (there might be none – what then?) etc. and where you need to think about the order of the tasks in the timeline so that you save time. Not to forget remembering to notice if people haven’t replied to your e-mail and having to either remind them or come up with a Plan B (this usually leaves you stumped because you now can’t get the thing you started the whole journey for). There’s so many steps to keep track of and you can’t even write them down because the amount of steps keeps changing.

*Finding the next place to rent, booking a dentist for my hurting tooth, planning journeys (what is the Plan B if the journey is too expensive?)

The cluelessness and dread of having to come up with a Plan B is why I hate searching for things. Having to come up with a Plan B is so disorienting. And it’s the opposite of stimulating: you’ve put in a ton of effort and gotten nowhere. How do you all deal with it?

  • MystikIncarnate
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    3 months ago

    I get the feeling that most of the former people are faking and doing a lot of masking.

    I live a life of impulse. Improvisation is the way I do everything.

    My work hates me for it, but they have a hard time complaining with my results.