Heyuh, any hot tips on how I can get the hell out of this abuse house? BioParents have decided that one ānoā is far too many and theyāve decided to try to break into my room. Theyāre yelling a bunch of bullshit and telling me to get out but also theyāre trying to work out how to break into my room?!
Iām in rural northeastern Oklahoma; Iāve got a bit of money (assuming they donāt rob me of that somehow) but no real means of supporting myself because Iām autistic and agoraphobic in the middle of nowhere, relying on them for everything. Iāve finally got just a little bit of help (some medications at least, nothing fancy) and itās just too little too late I guess.
tl;dr: BioParents threatening, bullying me. Need some kind of lasting escape, need help creating my own life if such thing is possible. Need to never be here again.
Edit: Sorry, Iām a bit scattered. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Couldnāt find anywhere that is. Also I may lose ātheirā Internet connection because cutting me off from help is totally not abusing me but actually a reasonable way for them to ātake back their propertyā (they want all of my keys as part of throwing me out, Iāve never been able to deal with confrontation and they know itā¦ blah blah BS). May be able to use my phoneā¦ ugh.
Edit 2: They called the cops on me.
Edit 3: The guy with the Punisher tat explained that no one had done anything wrong but they canāt throw me out without going through the eviction process. BioMom has been through that process before (she used to run an apartment complex!) so she damn well knew she couldnāt do that, and that the cops wouldnāt help her unless they were just hardcore transphobes whoād just as soon shoot me. No shock to me, the only logical reason she called them was to bully me harder or just get me killed.
Edit 4: Night now, managed a kitchen+toilet trip. Didnāt get thrown directly into jail nor āinstitutionalizedā for daring to disobey my dear sweet loving and supportive (sarcasm) mother and her imaginary right to invade every detail of my life. Still donāt know where to go. Iām too old for many things, too young for others. Kinda afraid (ashamed?) to even try to contact any kind of shelter because likeā¦ theyāve got a handful of rooms and Iām gonna ask for one because Iām a thirty-something loser whoās broken and getting thrown out? They made me broken and theyāre throwing me out for trying to keep one single detail of my life from her butā¦ damn, is that really fair to ask, when others have been through so much worse? Besides, probably nowhere has any space available, so Iāll just be stressing over a phone call or whatever and get nothing from it but more stress. FML, wish Iād been born to an actually decent family or not at all. (Edit 4b: No-go on the whole family/friends thing.)
Edit 5: Still alive! Feels like none of this is even real, like I mustāve just dreamed it all. I think itās this room messing with my head, like nothing can ever change. Am just yapping I guess š¤· (Edit 5b: Oh, edits count as bumps. Sorry >.<; )
Edit 6: Now BioMomās lashing out at BioDad too. Apparently sheās going to take us to hell with her when/after(?) she dies. What the actual fuck. Anyway, in case he comes and kills me Iād like to mention that the new name Iāve been flirting with is Keris. Nocritter asked and Iām in no state to be soul-searching right now but I kinda want to say it, I guess. Might as well try to be as me as I can when I donāt know if thereās gonna be a me in ten minutes. On the plus side, if she decides to still go to her thing on Monday Iāll have a window for escape. Just have to figure out how, and where to go.
Edit 6b: Okay, not dead yet. No idea whatās going on out there; havenāt heard anything in a while. Realized I may sound a little insane being afraid of BioDad when BioMom is the one screaming about taking people to Hell with her. Sheās very movement impaired and canāt get to my end of the house on her own. Sad, yes. Complicated. He, on the other paw, is as cruel as she lets him get by with. Heās always been physically intimidating (though not yet āviolentā), verbally abusive, always looking to do as much damage as he can without her scolding him for it. So if sheās not a factorā¦ heās a threat.
Edit/Update 7: They taped a seven-day eviction notice to my door. Looks like state law requires thirty but Idunno if I can last that long anyway, given Iām afraid to even cross the lil hallway to get to the toilet. Iām very not okay, I need somewhere safe to go, at least long enough to calm down and figure out what the hell to do but thereās just nothing for it. Might be able to afford a hotel for a couple weeks if I donāt eat. Iām not eating anyway so maybe thatās not so bad. No friends, no family, no space in shelters (and I donāt meet anyoneās criteria anyway), no place to go if I do manage to leave, no idea where else to even try or ask. Hell, Iām almost out of bottled water too. If any brave adventurers wanna swoop in and rescue me, nowās the time :-\
I once managed to get a little time away from them with some people I thought were friends. It was really nice. I started growing a little, almost became a person. Then that fell through and I got stuck back in this awful box and could just feel the life draining out of me. She swore everythingād be better but itās just been worse. Sometimes I feel just a little hopeful that I can not just get away but get better :-\
As for the Other Place, Iāve already deleted my account there. I think even if I figured out where to post, a brand new account wouldnāt be allowed to and probably Iād look suspicious as hell if I were :-\ Not even gonna rant about how fucked-up it is that asking for help can even be suspicious :|
Was thinking about maybe Minnesota, since MN Transplant (though theyāve given up on the transplanting thing) has a bunch of resources on seemingly everything, in trans-friendly flavour. Resources arenāt a safety net, a support network, nor a plan, though, so Iāve got several statesā worth (maybe Colorado? Maybe Oregon? Washington? Parts of Cali? Chicago even?) of random bits of wood, a pile of tools I canāt name, and no mentor nor manual but Iāve suddenly got to build a house :-\ No time to even figure anything out. Not in a reasonable situation for trying to, even. Donāt know anycritter anywhere. Very stress! Lost alone. Shouldāve found a friend before saying ānoā to a self-obsessed control freak who thinks she owns me and her cruel, hateful slave, I guess :-\
Gotta take a nap. Too sleepy. More pain ātomorrow.ā