Tender Childhood Memory
>be me
>be in fifth grade
>the scholastic book fair comes to our school every year
>the kids in my class were really into “I Survived” books
>“I Survived the Holocaust” is being sold
>kids correlate Nazis being German with me being German and start calling me a Nazi
>ask them what a Nazi is, but no one will tell me
>too poor to buy the book
>ask my stepmom at the time and she screams at me because “I’m too young to know about Nazis” and gets mad at me
>too scared to ask teachers or my dad after getting yelled at
>kids keep calling me a Nazi for weeks
>get pissed
>plot revenge
>have fake cereal brand with my friend for some reason
>never actually made the cereal yet, just pretend it exists and made fake ads for it and shit
>tell people I’m finally going to make it
>mix the most vile, abhorrent shit I can find in my kitchen together with red food dye and frosted flakes
>feed it to the people calling me a Nazi, so most of my class ate it
>gave them explosive diarrhea and food poisoning
>somehow didn’t get in trouble for biological warfare and was never punished by the school
>W
>forget about it for eight years
>randomly remember
>tell my dad cause I think it’s funny
>”Anon, that’s exactly what a Nazi would do."
>InterpersonalExpectancyEffect.jpg

I guess those kids called it.

  • don@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    have fake cereal brand with my friend for some reason

    Of all the whats that, in the entire history of what, have ever whatted, what?