This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Opposite_In_8918 on 2024-01-24 10:14:18+00:00.

My father is in his mid 70s, in declining health and has mobility issues. He walks at about half the speed of my mother, who is about the same age. He has trouble standing up after sitting for short periods and has physical ailments affecting his back and one of his feet. This is at least partly due to not doing any exercise for most of his life despite my occasional pestering (ironically he was a medical doctor before he retired).

My father recently inherited a large sum of money - the interest it earns in a high yield savings account each year is more than my annual salary (and my income is in the top 2-3% of US households). Even without the inheritance, he is well off with an 8-figure net worth and lives frugally.

He’s taking a trip soon where he will be on a plane by himself. The flight will be 17+ hours one way and 15+ hours the other. I procured a business class ticket for him on miles in one direction, and we got into an argument over the ticket for the other direction. Business gives him a better seat, more space, and a bed to sleep on during the long flight.

He refuses to buy a business ticket the other way because it’s too expensive. I don’t disagree with him that a business ticket is extremely expensive, but I believe he’s at the stage where that kind of money simply doesn’t matter, and his health matters more. He’s in a privileged position where the added cost of the business ticket simply doesn’t matter. He could lose $100K in a ditch and his life wouldn’t change one single bit.

His reasoning in his words: “I was brought up in a different era and from young I was taught to be thrifty by my mother. Changing long standing habits is a challenging process and try as I may, I cannot bring myself to spend over $10000 on a single ticket”. He normally complains about his health issues but now is saying that his health isn’t that bad & 17 hrs in economy was fine.

I think he lacks perspective and he’s a hypocrite about money (he doesn’t manage his money at all and put the inheritance in a bank account that earned almost no interest for 6 months until I found out and did the work of opening a new high interest account and moving the money into it for him, my mother manages all their other finances). He raised me to work hard but I don’t know what the point is if you can’t also enjoy the fruits of your labor. He says I’ll inherit the money when he dies so I should be happy he’s not spending it, but I always told him that I’d honestly be happier if he spent the money on taking care of himself and enjoying life.

Also, I’m an only child living abroad with my family and I’m increasingly resentful that he doesn’t take care of himself. When he inevitably runs into serious health issues, I’m going to have to deal with it.

After a heated argument on the phone, I got angry and gave him an ultimatum that if he flew economy, he could do it both ways and if he ran into any health problems on his trip he was on his own and I wasn’t going to help. AITA?