It’s one thing to have differing views, but I’ve seen enough attempted reddit migrations to be relieved that the popular communities in the fediverse so far haven’t been about crazy racist stuff or other extreme right bullshit.
I am also glad that I’m getting away from reddit’s general political shitposting, which was more left leaning. You couldn’t have any proper discourse on there, and even I with my generally more left leaning views recognized that.
Language is subjective. Being offended is also veeery subjective. Some male gay person may take offense of you using the word “asshole”, as being derogatory to those who is practice anal sex. 🤷♂️
In my case, the word “retarded” was used extensively when I was in middle/high-school, and it never was taken seriously as accusing someone of actually being retarded. It was more a call out to someone talking nonsense of not articulating their words carefully. It was playful. Only in recent years I’ve seen some pushback to the usage of the term, but my impression is that the actual “retarded” people are not really concerned about it, and they’re not being actively targeted by this word as an expelative. In fact, this whole debacle is a tool used by the non-retarded people as a way to virtual signal.
Community standards are what matters in the Fediverse, IMHO. Two standards matter, the users home instance, and the home of the community. Even a user from third instance was offended by something, the two instances that matter are the two home instances. Granted, that user from a third instance could individually block specific users or even whole other instances.
I’ve been being pedantic on general principle. This whole topic is a consequence of some specifics. I have no doubt that there are some outright Nazi or at least Nazi-adjacent instances out there, I’m also fairly certain my home instance wouldn’t federate with them, so I don’t have to deal with them. The general civility of the Fediverse so far is as much due to where in the Fediverse people seem to be ending up in.
I think that it also matters that we should be considerate of the type of instance we choose. If big corporate social media is like a big mall, arena, or convention centre; when dealing with the Fediverse, sometimes we are hanging out in someone’s backyard (metaphorically of course, in the case of a small instance run by a single person as a hobby). I know my home instance is working through this right now, and my home instance in Mastodon went through this as well.
I’m sorry, I deleted my own comment because I placed it under the wrong comment (I re-posted it under the correct comment later). But as you commented hours after my deletion, that means you managed to read my deleted comment? 🙃