TLDR; I have struggled with my body all my life, this podcast has opened my eyes on fat phobia, and the role and responsibilities of society in my mental wellbeing regarding my own body.
I’ve not always been fat, but for as long as I can remember I have always felt fat and been told to watch my weight.
Looking back at photos of me in highschool and even middle school, I think I looked skinny. I do not understand now how people, family, friends, strangers… Could have felt the need to tell me to watch what I eat. And yet, it happened. A lot.
I have tried many diets, some outright dangerous, and not been able to keep the weight off. I have worked out, sometimes to the point of vomiting, and not lost significant weight. I have long felt it was my fault, and that I don’t have enough self control or character to just lose weight and keep it off.
The podcast “Maintenance phase” has helped me realize I may not be the (only) responsible party of my fatness. At first I was doubious of its hosts - a very entertaining duo of a self proclaimed “fat lady” and “skinny gay dude” - and I thought they were just glorifying obesity and excusing fat people by accusing the establishment, the corporations and society of bullying and fat shaming. But their pieces are actually very well researched and beautifully articulated. They don’t excuse fatness, they don’t glorify obesity. What they are saying, is: “stop treating fat people like second class citizens”.
I am slowly starting to realize I have been mistreated for my weight and accepted this as deserved and normal. I have often thought “it’s my fault” and felt ashamed when people gave me unsolicited advice about losing weight, or said mean things about my body. This is not right. I should not feel shame for being mistreated by others, and the podcast “Maintenance phase” has helped me realize that.
I am sharing the podcast here, with you, my fellow fat people, because I believe it is important for you to accept yourself and realize when society is trying to make you feel inadequate. I am not telling you not to lose weight, that is entirely up to you. I am asking you to take a long hard look at how society is treating you, so you can leave the negativity behind and work on healing yourself mentally before taking on the immense challenge that is changing your body size (if that is still a thing you feel you need to do).
I hope this helps at least one person here to feel less hopeless and shitty about themselves.
Much love!
Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5JOZkVLc0Yceq3dy5RshPz
YouTube link: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=cRz-d9rt94g&si=Um2XWSrAuTk6n_n5
– Edit: I want to note that I am guilty of anti-fat bias as wel… Whilst being fat. So I need to work on my issues with other fat people as much as any skinny person does.
Friend this is beautifully written! I was also a healthy weight in high school, but that didn’t stop almost every woman in my life telling me we needed to constantly strive to be thinner. These ideas were presented like a trauma-response; it usually stemmed from the insecurities that had been presented to that person as a “normal” way to coexist in society when they were growing up.
I don’t blame these women for perpetuating the cycle, but I can change how I respond to these ideas. I reject the idea of telling other people what to think about their own weight. It takes time and effort to adjust to this way of thinking, but I firmly believe we have to strive to be better than the trauma of our past. (This is still a work in progress for me, because some days it feels like I’m swimming against the tide)
That being said, I was firmly convinced that I was never going to lose the extra weight I had built up over the years. I am glad to say that I’ve found a solution based in psychology, that helped me understand all the food distortions I’d absorbed or self-inflicted over the years. I won’t say the brand name unless someone asks, but it’s been amazing to realise that beliefs instilled in me as a teenager can be changed over time.
Personally, I need the change to be gradual so I can reinforce my healthy eating habits and set aside my unhealthy eating habits. Once I re-focused on my eating habits it started to change things for me. For the first time in about 10 years, I’ve lost 50lbs since last year, and am consciously making healthier choices in my life.
Lovely lemmy lurkers, I wish you all the best of luck and empowerment in your journeys to live healthier and happier!