Switching schools. Thought maybe masking my autism would do good for finally having friends.
Here’s what I did:
1- Sit on the third line: not too much back, not too much on the front;
2- Get pretty. Bracelets, jacket…
3- Watch them talk and imitate what they talk about when they talk to you.
Well, didn’t go this well. Still getting ignored (I like to joke with my brother that “Neurotypicals have autism detectors”).
Where did I miss it? I tried joining some conversations I heard, but they were pretty unkind at me after that.
You can’t fake being social. It’s not something people think about doing, it’s a natural expression. It’s our bodies doing body things together. When you’re imitating, you’re not really engaging on this level, and they can feel that. It feels dangerous, suspicious, and not social.
It is better to just be naturally weird rather than to try to imitate what other people do. If you are presenting a mask, even if you are successful, they are STILL not socializing with you, developing a relationship with you; they are developing a relationship with the fake person you are pretending to be! It sucks for everyone!
A mask is for your protection and comfort when you can’t deal with stuff. It’s in the way when you are trying to engage with people socially, which is quite a different thing. If you are trying to get through class without social engagements, mask up. If you are trying to make a friend, be weird.