Remember that it’s the loud ones we hear most. If a hundred people just say nothing to avoid awkwardness, a dozen correct you politely and a single one kicks up a fuss, it’s the fuss you will remember.
It’s also easy to take corrections way more personally than they’re intended. Someone saying “It’s they, actually” isn’t an expression of offense, even if it can feel bad to be corrected (because it feels bad to be “wrong”). Compare it to bumping into someone you didnt see, who then goes “watch out” to point out there’s someone in the way – they’re not necessarily upset, just informing you.
And finally, sometimes people are just irritable for whatever reason. They might not usually get offended, but for whatever reason will lash out that one time. To take the analogy of bumping into someone, perhaps their shoulder was already sore.
There certainly are some that do get offended. Some are so upset with the norms people grow up with they end up lashing out at those people instead. Some genuinely lack any understanding or patience for the other side of the issue. Some are just plain entitled. Some are looking for things to be upset at. Assholes exist in just about any sufficiently large grouping of people.
But for most I’ve known, it’s really just about mutual respect, and often there’s a base assumption of respect too. We all know how hard it can be to untrain a habit, and most people don’t want unpleasantness. Don’t let the exceptions get to you.
Thank you. I’m elated to hear that most don’t get offended at genuine mistakes.
That’s all I really needed.
Remember that it’s the loud ones we hear most. If a hundred people just say nothing to avoid awkwardness, a dozen correct you politely and a single one kicks up a fuss, it’s the fuss you will remember.
It’s also easy to take corrections way more personally than they’re intended. Someone saying “It’s they, actually” isn’t an expression of offense, even if it can feel bad to be corrected (because it feels bad to be “wrong”). Compare it to bumping into someone you didnt see, who then goes “watch out” to point out there’s someone in the way – they’re not necessarily upset, just informing you.
And finally, sometimes people are just irritable for whatever reason. They might not usually get offended, but for whatever reason will lash out that one time. To take the analogy of bumping into someone, perhaps their shoulder was already sore.
There certainly are some that do get offended. Some are so upset with the norms people grow up with they end up lashing out at those people instead. Some genuinely lack any understanding or patience for the other side of the issue. Some are just plain entitled. Some are looking for things to be upset at. Assholes exist in just about any sufficiently large grouping of people.
But for most I’ve known, it’s really just about mutual respect, and often there’s a base assumption of respect too. We all know how hard it can be to untrain a habit, and most people don’t want unpleasantness. Don’t let the exceptions get to you.