More organizations should copy the model for MACC in NYC. There is a lot of work that went into solving this problem. For people who want to learn more about how MACC organizes, listen to the podcast Rebel Steps.
That is where we are right now, but it would be nice to have a full replacement for Facebook or Twitter. We will need the benefit of the network effect to move beyond a niche community. I would like to get to the point of using fediverse to connect to people IRL (and Jabber for instant messaging, etc.)
I think one cultural factor to this is that many people joined from Twitter due to insufficient moderation policies there, so they may be more sensitive to potential harassment.
I don’t know the answer, but I think it’s largely a matter of popularity. The fediverse does seem to be growing slowly, and I see more new communities popping up. One day hopefully it will be commonplace.
You can rip the middle seam and sew it lower. That will give the groin space.