Not a feel good story, so beware. But I think there’s a glimmer of hope here in contextualizing despair into survival, as upsetting as that may be.
Many LGBT people can’t bring themselves to face the emotion caused by how widespread it is to be called the Q-slur.
I see it as a slur the same way “Jew” is a slur. It depends entirely on how much stank you put on it.
I’m not a fan of “LGBT” as a means of identity. It feels both too restrictive and not inclusive. Especially because of how much gatekeeping the first two disproportionately do. And how little they care about others. Best example currently going on is the LGB people. I thought I saw something saying the Lesbians were wanting to cut out the others.
I guess this is just a downside to living with internet and access to every culture, but…I don’t care. I could easily diminish my self around hurt people, and it is something I do. But I’m not going to let hurt people change who I am. The world shouldn’t be built for hurt people. It should be built to help hurt people.
I’m of the opinion that “LGB” backlash is directly in response to the Q-slur discourse. They see their radicalism, hypersexuality, attention-seeking behavior, and other stuff that disproportionately benefits cishets over LGBT people, and falsely assume that all trans people are q***rs.
I have experienced the opposite. Most people I know who prefer to ID with what you call a slur tend to be much better at keeping overt sexuality in “appropriate places”. And no, I don’t count hand holding or quick kisses overt sexuality.
I don’t see radicalism as harsh as you. It seems to be a relative term. Radical in USA is not wanting homeless people to starve. People have been arrested for feeding the homeless. Then you have Elon pinning a video to the whole of Twitter from a self proclaimed fascist as an acceptable “moderate” behavior.
I also don’t see attention seeking as an inherently bad thing. If people don’t know another way to live then they don’t know. When I was a child I was told you were gay or “normal”. If it wasn’t for people screaming past barriers I wouldn’t know there were other options. Is pride festivals attention seeking?
What stuff do they do that “disproportionately benefits cishets”
I also did not know that help is a zero sum game.
I don’t quite understand what you mean in your last statement.
When I think of “mainstream Q-slur discourse”, I think of things like equivocating over microlabels while also claiming they don’t like labels, forcing the adoption of neopronouns when the singular they is already widespread and fills that role, giving transphobes excuse after excuse to misgender us in the form of “he identifies as a woman” and “he’s a she/her man”, harassing and unpersoning anyone in the LGBT community when they even begin to stray from eat-the-rich communism, glorifying sexuality, et cetera et cetera.
I do not feel welcome in any community that calls itself that slur. I can explain my reasoning on why “pansexual” is defined in terms of biphobic stereotypes, why “pronouns don’t equal gender” allows an influx of attention-seeking cis people into the LGBT community, and why “truscum” are ostracized from the trans community despite being the definition of “transgender” when it entered the public lexicon, if you want me to.
This is the first time I’ve interacted with “mainstream q-slur” discourse. So I don’t know what you’re talking about. You are 5 steps ahead of me, and you are assuming I have knowledge that I don’t.
I’ve never been a fan of neo pronouns/micro labels. They seem to take up the same space as a name. A specific individualized label is not different than a name? At my work I have a nickname on my name tag. It is more polite at my work to call me by my nickname than it is my legal name. When I’m with my family I’m called my legal name. I’m fine with this. People should be allowed to be sloppy. Trying to force things in boxes that shouldn’t be makes that box not useful.
Eat the rich isn’t strictly a “communist ideology”.
I still don’t quite understand what you mean by “glorifying sexuality”. Are you asexual and sex repulsed? I would want a world where I am able to talk about sexuality. Where people cross the line of glorifying is different for everyone.
You do not have to be apart of every community, that sounds exhausting. I wouldn’t feel welcomed in a lesbian meetup, so do not feel bad. It is good to have these in existence.
As long as bi and pan are self prescribed then I see no issue with either. I’m sure in 100 years one of them will become the “correct” choice. And I wish the generations after me good luck with that. If they wish to call me an old loser who is stuck in the past I would only agree with them.
If pronouns are not for prescribing gender then what are they for?
Unfortunately people who aren’t LGBT are in the majority. If you want to be accepted in society then you explicitly need their acceptance. I see no reason why a cishet person should be barred from pride festivals, dragshows, or even LGBT tv shows. That sounds like a great way for the cishets to get over themselves. If someone is willing to help me they should be thanked for it. Thanking people for not being “evil” should be more common. If I get to complain to a cishet person about something that happened to me that is [gay] then I would thank them for listening to me. People cannot pull themselves up by their boot straps.
My understanding of “truscum” is them believing that trans women aren’t women. Yeah, why wouldn’t they kick them out. That seems hostile towards their person. I’m white, I kick out any white supremacists I have from the groups I’m a part of.
Eat the rich isn’t strictly a “communist ideology”.
It’s one of the tamer examples, but it’s the truth that q**** discourse participants very often are quick to condemn anyone who disagrees with them for any reason as “q****phobic” or worse, something that actually has meaning but is misused like “fascist”, “homophobe”, “transphobe”, or “pedophile”.
You do not have to be apart of every community, that sounds exhausting. I wouldn’t feel welcomed in a lesbian meetup, so do not feel bad. It is good to have these in existence.
The problem is that there are no LGBT communities that are not called LGBTQ or overrun by q****s.
If pronouns are not for prescribing gender then what are they for?
I ask that to neopronoun users all the time.
If you want to be accepted in society then you explicitly need their acceptance. I see no reason why a cishet person should be barred from pride festivals, dragshows, or even LGBT tv shows.
Same, but I’m thinking of cishets who claim to be “q****” for no other reason than they feel like it.
My understanding of “truscum” is them believing that trans women aren’t women.
That is false. You are confusing truscum with transgender deniers / TERFs / gender criticals.
I should probably learn how to do that formatting. It’s easily understood. Do you mind linking me to where I could learn?
I have not really experienced that before. This is actually my first time making any sort of attempt at online social media. The last time I used Facebook was back in 2010. It seemed like people just wanted to be hostile on that site. A story that I remember, and will not look up because I love being wrong, is a story about two guards in Poland from the second world war. They were tasked with killing women and children. One of them couldn’t bring themselves to kill innocent people. So a solution they came up with is one would kill the mother, and then the other realized that the child would only live in misery without their mother. So it became a mercy killing. I do not believe in evil. People are doing what they think is the best thing to do. Hurt people hurt people. If you treat hurt people with hostility, then you will get hostility in return. The online space is great for people to put their inner most thoughts. Everyone has random thoughts, and they can be destructive.
To me I don’t see that much difference between people who call themselves LGBT and people who call themselves the catch all term. But to someone who wishes to exclude them I understand that frustration.
I see no reason why a cishet person couldn’t be the term you dislike. Sexuality tends to be one of the first things targeted in genocides. It’s like how cishet males look at lesbian or straight peron, they put themselves in one of the participants shoes. When they do that to something they do not personally want to do they get disgusted, like an autistic person eating mushrooms. They feel attacked because people “forced” them into experiencing it. I am not saying this is correct or good. It causes a lot of strife. But cishets would get targeted by that. I see no reason why I shouldn’t protect them from that hostility.
I’m sorry I don’t understand that term. Do you mind telling me what that is?
