😎

When he continued, asking whom Hannibal considered third, he named himself without hesitation"

You think you’re cool? Think again.

Thanks for the source!

Do we have any witness reports or commentaries of this encounter? It’s the first time I’ve heard of it! Levels of badassery not seen since then I suppose.

Seneca haters unite 😎

“The Emperor has weak hands everyone says so. I have very strong hands, the strongest hands”. This POS I swear on Minerva.

Not so cunning, Mr. Linguist?

Then a pangolin maybe?

Fun fact: the word “pangolin” comes from the malay word “panggoling” which means approximately “pangolin”.*

* this is probably wrong, too. I don’t know shit about the malay language, to my shame

Zimbabwe obviously 🇿🇲 ah fuck

Writing? Why? I just shout at my underlings.

The wheel? My jet doesn’t need wheels, probably.

Math? Useless. I don’t pay taxes so what’s the point?

Sailing? My yacht doesn’t have sails.

Laws? They don’t apply to me.

Seals? Okay they are cute little freaks.

Very antisemitic! Palestinians have been killed, but by what? Nobody can tell for sure

I’d like to believe it’s because everybody was still kung-fu fighting.

But it’s actually because of the bigots I suppose?

Ah damn I don’t have it. Is there some place where I could buy it? I’ve heard some pawn shops in Las Vegas might have it. I can call if necessary

I think it’s a DnD roll with some advantage?

Thank you for your sacrifice

Don’t make me read it again, I beg you. The average human brain can only cope with so many commas.

Humans, you claim you don’t want to be fed to crabs. Yet you don’t have a shell or claws to defend yourselves and you are soft and delicious. Curious.

– Turning Point Crab

not raEd1ng tHAT esay! MAGA!!!

He’s a disgrace. Still classifying Rhinantus minor in the Scrophulariaceae instead of Orobanchaceae after APGIII. Smh.

I think you have the wrong guy? Xzibit is still very much alive and pimping (rides)

‘Butterflies with bat wings feeding on dwarf mammoths’ now a thing in my mind

What did they eat? Or was it only caterpillars eating and butterflies fucking everywhere? Man the Permian was freaky.

Also why are they not 2 metres wide? Disappointing.