They’re not robots. They have no self awareness. They have no awareness period. WTF even is this article?

Please write a book about your life anyway.

How are you watching me right now?!

I should eat first…

“This is why the criticism doesn’t matter to us.”

Nazi, please. If the criticism didn’t matter to you, you wouldn’t be trying to take away the power of the word “Nazi”.

That’s the actually shocking part

I wish the article had presented available alternatives.

Welp, we’re all doubly fucked.

So many hoops to jump through!

I can clear that up for you. We are in the absolute worst sort of very shitty parody. Those of us in the US who are sane deserve an Airplane!-caliber parody, and instead we’ve been given Fatal Instinct.

Truly you are doing the work of mighty Cthulhu.

Why shell out if government owned cables are doing the job? That’s my guess, anyway. I’m not a cableologist.

I don’t want this knowledge in my head

Otters are terrifying

Massachusetts definitely needs more entitled rich white men in government.

Both my parents are certain they are the smartest people in the room at all times.

Please write a book about your life

The only way my father knows how to act is to sea-lion. I didn’t even know the term until a couple of weeks ago and when I read the definition I was like:

You’re not wrong

I’m definitely reading him this, many times