

Stigma? I would have killed for a diagnosis when I was young. It would have made my school life so much better, I wouldn’t have wondered why I couldn’t do what my peers did in half the time.
You don’t need to medicate but at least explain to your daughter why she might be different and help with some coping mechanisms. I was never given that chance because my parents decided that I didn’t need the “stigma”.
It might not be what you’re looking for, but tailscale offers end points where you can use mulvad vpn in conjunction with your tailscale network, might be worth looking into! I use it and it works great.
Obligatory due to the sub we’re in. I don’t believe tailscale falls into the space of “self hosted”. You’d need to set up your own wireguard server for that.