Hey! I started finding out what being trans actually means about half a year ago, and as I look into it more and more, I am realizing just how much of that stuff relates to me, or sounds like what I want to be, and I really wanna look further into it.
I was wondering what are some good resources, stories of trans people or other possible signs, that would help me answer my question.
My main issue is that I do not like my body. I always thought it was because I am fat, but now that it could be something else, I have no idea where to look and see which one it is, which is something that has really been bothering me lately. I also don’t like quite a few aspects of “male” society, but again, that could just be normal.
I just want to know who I am, I wanna be able to question myself and find out things about myself I would’ve not found on my own
Please don’t reply with “you are trans” or “you aren’t trans”, I want the only person that answers that question to be myself.
I’d just appreciate some help, some resources, something to read up on to find out what’s wrong with me
The whole point of the trans movement, is recognising that beyond a small number of very specific biological truths, that the majority of gendered experiences are entirely social.
i.e. being viewed as masculine or feminine, is as arbitrary as deciding whether you’re goth or emo or punk
So I guess what I’m saying, is that from your post, I’m sensing that you’re finding that strict societal don’t really resonate with you. You don’t feel especially stereotypically feminine or stereotypically masculine, or perhaps sometimes you feel a bit of both, or some other combination.
And at the tame time, you’re saying “please don’t tell me I’m trans” - and frankly, that makes perfect sense to me, because if the whole problem is rejecting labels in general, why would you want another one?
Not that I know anything, but it seems to me that you might try just letting go of the idea of gender being something that matters to you completely.
Like, personally I’m not punk, or emo, or alt, or goth, or country. Sometimes I listen to these genres, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’ll dress and express myself with hints of these genres, sometimes I don’t. Mostly I’m not really any of them.
And if someone says “do you like punk music”, I can say “Yeah sometimes” or “I’m not in the mood”, or “Oh yeah, lets do it”. And if they say “Yeah but you’re not really punk”, I don’t really mind one way or another. I don’t have to be anything really.
I don’t see why you couldn’t approach gender the same way. I don’t see why you have to commit to, or justify your specific interpersonal or social choices. If one day you want to do something that’s viewed as super masculine, cool! if another day you reject certain masculine things, or even the same masculine thing - that’s cool too! And that doesn’t even need to make you “trans”.
Beyond specific medical/biological concerns, most of this stuff is just words, and it’s all made up.