Yeah, girls do seem to like it when you demonstrate how much you care. Just have to get your foot in the door first, with dates and small talk and jokes and stuff, so it grows naturally. Otherwise, especially if there’s anxiety at play, it can feel creepily artificial and accelerated. Those are not attractive.
That’s where romcoms mess up, the shorter movie runtime means they have to skip the legwork that would be necessary irl before reasonably showing feelings that strong.
Let’s be honest though, guys been pulling dumb stunts for girls they really like (and vice versa too) for a very long time. That’s real life, which romcoms are taking inspiration from. They just cut out all the dull parts and exaggerate the rest for comedy purposes.
But they play into the idea that it’s the norm, or the expected even, and other movies draw inspiration from its ideals further solidifying the concept of unrestrained woo.
Yea, they take it too far. It’s Hollywood though, they’re selling fantasy for $$$, not actually trying to pass on anything semi-useful.
Yeah, I mean hallmark movies are no different than professional porn, but they target the heart instead of the balls.
There’s very little foreplay, the actors always look the same, the emotions and acting are overplayed and drawn out, somehow the repetitive scenario they are in is kooky but slightly believable.
It’s meant to give the viewer the slight idea of “that could be me one day” to enhance their experience and keep them coming back, but once the money shot happens and they close the video, some people carry that baggage with them and think that’s what real life is like.
Ohhhh that’s a good one. And really, aren’t action films testosterone porn? That shits not real. Irl heroes usually die in the process.
That’s true, especially in action films where it’s like “semi-regular guy gets mixed up in something and has to prove just how not regular he is.” Same thing though, false amounts of prep, plot armor to hammer home the point, and some stupid money shot quip once they get the bad guy. It’s all porn all the way down.
I’d love to see a realistic action movie where the main protagonist gets shot and starts dying in literally the first combat scene, realizing just how fragile humans are and how stupid they were, and then the rest of the movie dealing with the fallout.
The Other Guys has something similar where the hot shot detectives are in pursuit and decide to jump off a building to keep going and don’t make it.
Lone Survivor is a great example of this, and a true story.
The true story is actually crazier than the film, of all things. Kind of like Hacksaw Ridge.
That’s basically Gran Torino.
The couple in this situation are lucky it worked out, but generally what happened here would be a big overstepping of boundaries. Media heavily encourages guys to do these big moves and big gestures, but very often these big moves are written without respecting boundaries, without checking in and without worrying about consent. Actually - it’s often written as if not checking for consent are what makes these big moves great.
That’s fiction. That is NOT real life. It looks nice on film, but in real life, more often than not, it’s disrespectful and uncomfortable. There’s lots of ways to show you care, and the most fundamental one is checking in, asking for consent, asking about boundaries and comfort levels.
This couple is lucky that it worked out without serious boundaries being crossed without those conversations. But I want to stress - that’s luck. Check in
Yes, you’re right, it is luck. Previous generations believed luck was an important element in deciding who got to be successful or not in life. We generally disagree with that position, which is why we talk about doing things differently.
To pretend that this the fault of media exclusively just teaching bad practices vs the media simply parroting our own silly, hormone-driven behaviors back at us, is pretty ridiculous imo.
Stunts are not always large, sometimes they are small. What makes them stunts is they’re dumb, though, because the hormones and genitalia are driving your brain, not the rational logic centers anymore. Trust me though, the feeling of being in love makes “sense” go largely out the window. It’s a more powerful rush than any drug, imagining that rationality can just casually put it in check is frankly, absurd.
Really, fall madly, head over heels for someone. Let me know how rational and logical it makes you.
This is why Nora Ephron is the GOAT. she always puts time jumps in the story so you can see the characters grow over time.
There’s gotta be trust and good intentions. For example. If you think your unrequested 8 hour drive now means you deserve sex, we sense it and we are generally not a fan.
guys been pulling dumb stunts for girls they really like (and vice versa too) for a very long time. That’s real life, which romcoms are taking inspiration
How many stories about some warrior has to complete a quest to get the girl. Like Chulainn.
Yeah, Norway’s first unification apparently happened because some small king wanted a girl and needed to impress her.
depressing that people have to drive 8 hours to visit others, should be a 5 hour train at least
Laughs in Canadian.
My longest single day non-stop drive was around 18 hours… Never even left the province. The flight alternative required me chartering my own plane and would have cost many many thousands of dollars more, so I went with driving as it was the cheapest option.
As a European, these distances are mind-boggling. If I drive 18 hours, I can drive through half a dozen countries (or more, if you optimize for that) and easily get from the Baltic sea to the Mediterranean sea.
Don’t worry, I expect to see North America to be similar, barring climate extinction.
Took me 13 hours to drive from Vancouver to Canmore Alberta, 13 hours to drive from Canmore to Kenora Ontario, 13 hours to drive from Kenora to Saults Saint Marie, and 7 more to get to Toronto.
Managed to cut it down to 18 hours straight to get the hell out of Ontario.
Sure, we’ll just delete some of the land in North America so everyone can live closer together.
China can make high speed rail. And it’s not a small country
America was built by train too to be fair
China has high speed rail in its eastern most populated section, with a single line running to the entire western half of the country, and similarly sparse lines to the north. The dense population centers in the US are not all in one area, they are spread across the continent interspersed with large swaths of rural land. That being said the US is working on high speed rail, and we’ve had passenger trains that cross the entire country for nearly two centuries - see Amtrak, as well as bus services like Greyhound.
As much as I hate to break up a circle jerk, the US is about as good at this as any other western country, and it’s doing it across an entire sparsely populated continent, not small, highly dense European countries.
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We’ve should have nationalized high speed rail the same way we have a nationalized interstate highway system. Not everything needs to be privatized for profit.
The US has a concept of eminent domain, which it has used in the past to build fairly fast affordable rail (and highways). There’s no reason it can’t work today except the fact our politicians are owned by car lobbiests.
When they put up highways, they very *very" often bulldozed through poor black neighborhoods. They didn’t care.
I don’t suggest we start doing that again, but the US had and has the capability to build out a fantastic trail system, but the highway system is lobbied for hard by car manufacturers.
AMTRAK gets like an eighth of the federal funding that roads get.
How profitable are highways?
I didn’t know that when highways were built land was deleted so everyone could live closer together. I mean if we can delete it once, why not for the second time amirite?
The only way for there never to be long trips in a country that spans the width of an entire continent would be to condense every one into a much smaller area. So you either abandon land in 2/3rds of the country, or you figure out how to magically drop away the land in between large metro areas.
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Sure, but you could have stoppers within the state to the capital, then a high speed interstate train, and then a slower stopper the other end.
There’s also transport solutions like shared car fleets the other end of the high speed train (in effect short term rental) so you make the inefficient miles be done individually, but the main leg with the high demand a rail one.
There are plenty of trips that could be made more efficient with sufficient will and imagination among transport planners
Unless it’s cargo…
For Cargo, population is not really a factor. A 600 People Hamlet can have a freight train running several times a day because there is a mine. A 10,000 soul city might not have any freight lines. For passenger trains, people are the cargo, i.e. there have to be enough people wanting to take a train
This is a myth that is also used in Canada to make sure nobody demands public transit and keep using cars. Both our countries were literally developed by railroads. And now we maintain a vast road network to all of those small towns that also costs billions.
Somehow we’re dense enough for highways, electricity distribution and phone lines but not railroads.
Depending on the familiarity. Everyone is different.
Imagine if you went on a date with a person. You think they’re neat. And maybe will give them a second chance.
Suddenly, they show up outside of your family’s house.
Context and nuance. Just about everything in life comes down to context and nuance.
And I guess she was really into him since otherwise this would be fucked
When the dry spell beats out the red flags.
That’s pretty dedicated just to get laid again.
Sometimes it do be that good.
For the criminally insane.
Alright but when I do it I get a restraining order on me
rules 1 and 2, pal. Depending on how close you are to following them, your results will vary lol
Image Transcription: Twitter
Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama
11 years ago, I was texting a dude I’d hooked up with a few times as I got ready for thanksgiving back in my hometown. “I forget, what’s your town called again?” He asked. I told him. One EIGHT HOUR DRIVE later he appeared at my doorstep. WHAT A DUMBASS.
Anyway we’re married.
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