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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

True love

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True love

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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • Grammaton Cleric@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “What’s with all the bags of ice?”

    • DrugsMcChrist@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      so you say you always bring an empty cooler with you on a first date. that’s interesting

      • IninewCrow
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        2 years ago

        Takes off all clothes to get ready for some love making … “What? You want me to wash my body first? … OK?” …everything goes black

        • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          "Why does everything smell like iodine and pine needles… /slump

        • Daft_ish@lemmy.worldBannedBanned from community
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          1 year ago

          Removed by mod

  • lugal@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    Drop the bullshit and tell me your exact blood type

    • dan1101@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Nice try Dr Acula!

      • guldukat@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Dr. Jan Itor

  • nevemsenki@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Of all the things in that picture, what bothers me still is why only London written in cyrillic?

    • PermanentlyJetlagged@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      It’s the way Tinder renders. ‘Lives in’ shows up in the language/alphabet of the app of the creator of the profile, while all other headers are processed in the language of the viewer of the profile.

      It actually serves as a decent trick for learning the language settings on the app of a person who’s profile you’re viewing.

    • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      You know what, same.

  • moistclump@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Partner for “life”.

  • konalt@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I can fix her

    • photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      Watch out, or she’ll fix you

      • credit crazy@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        The benefits of having a gf surgin

        • EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee
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          2 years ago

          If she’s surgin’ for cash, she may bring in a surgeon to grab your kidneys

  • robocall@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    She didn’t ask for him to have a job

    • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      Or be over 6’. You have a point.

      • kautau@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Organ dealers don’t see height 🥺😍

        • tubaruco@lemm.ee
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          2 years ago

          they dont care about appearance, what they do care about is whats inside!

  • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Respond to the posting with you mentioning that you live alone and have O- negative blood type cause fuck it you only live once.

  • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    There were urban legends back in the 80s and 90s about tourists in beach resort cities hooking up with attractive women in bars and discos, going back to their apartments or hotel rooms to keep drinking, passing out, then waking up next day… without the corneas of their eyes! Completely blind!

    • Buck@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      The one I used to hear was waking up in a tub of ice without one or both kidneys

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        A friend of mine many many years ago met a girl on a dating site and mentioned it to his mom. She announced that it was a kidney harvesting scam and would not let him go on the date unless he agreed to check in with her afterwards. During the date she texted him multiple times to watch his drink and make sure he doesn’t get his kidneys harvested. When he didn’t respond fast enough she called me and made me promise I would go and rescue him if it happened. After the date she wouldn’t accept text messages that everything was fine. He had to call her and make sure that she could hear his voice. She also called me again and asked me to drop by his apartment to make sure he was there.

        She really was a nice woman, just a bit touched.

        • iviattendurefort@lemmy.ml
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          2 years ago

          “What kind of decent, good-looking woman would want to go out with my son”

          • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            Haha I promise you it wasn’t like that. It was the whole dating someone via the Internet that set off her.

  • Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    goes on date

    Man- "lets play a game, i tell you what i like about you and you tell me what you like about me.

    Olga- “how valuable your are to me” (whispers under her breath) “economalicly”

    • faintwhenfree@lemmus.org
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      2 years ago

      Economalicaly, haha pure gold

      • howsetheraven@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Alright guys, you get one more try.

    • credit crazy@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Eh more of a operation guy tbh

  • nelson@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Sounds more like a “till death do us part” rather than a long time partner to me :/

    • phx@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      “lifetime” partner :-)

  • jcdenton@lemy.lol
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    2 years ago

    Suspicious

  • _number8_@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    must reside within 5 hectares of the М̷̩̦̩͕̆̈́̇̊о̶̡͉̱̺͉̦̐̍̍͗̋р̶͇͍̈̆͋о̷̨̝̺̪̥̱̹̫̦̝̝̥͚̺͐̓͋̾͒̋̏͐̈́͌̊̎͜͝з̶̧̡̹̜̪̟̭̤͚̤͎̳̓̉͋͘ͅо̷̨̦̋в̸̙̙̑ͅо̵͓̹̲͕͈̫͇̤̾̄̐͊͑̅͗̌͌̅͘ city-centre

    • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

  • arthurpizza@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    🚩🚩🚩🚩

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    “What’s with the fava beans and that nice bottle of chianti?”

  • NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    Must enjoy ice cold baths!

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