They took off on their bike earlier and when they came back I asked where they’d been. They gave me an odd answer and I smelled a rat. I pointed out the inconsistencies and still they doubled down on the “why don’t you trust me”. I was unwell with worry at this point, I didn’t know what to expect.

I don’t advocate for going through people’s data but I was a little bit insane at this point and I needed to know what was going on, consequences be damned. So after they fell asleep I looked at their phone. The last app that had been opened was 2good2go. The fucker had gone and picked up a free burrito without me and tried to hide it from me 🤣

What does it all mean?? Should I confront them or let it slide??

    • neamhsplach@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Clearly!! I’d do crazy things for a burrito too, maybe that’s why they kept it a secret 🤔

        • Confuzzeled@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          What kind of a world are we living in where someone can’t just get something to eat? No wonder the guy is out there stress eating burritos, he was panicking that she’d find out he’d had a whole calzone to himself for lunch and only got her a limp sandwich.

          • neamhsplach@beehaw.orgOP
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            1 year ago

            They fucking love calzones too hahahaa. Thanks for this thread guys, I am seeing the funny side to it all! Relationships are hard, at least they’re funny sometimes to make up for it

        • neamhsplach@beehaw.orgOP
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          1 year ago

          No diet that I’m aware of, so hiding it from me doesn’t make sense from that POV. Maybe they just didn’t want to share??

            • neamhsplach@beehaw.orgOP
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              1 year ago

              Yeah they’ve needed a lot of that recently. Been some other issues going on in their life that I’m trying to support them through but we definitely deal with pain in different ways. I’m an open book whereas they’re very quiet. Maybe this was a therapeutic burrito. I hope so.

  • heartlessevil@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    Seems like quite an unhealthy relationship if you don’t trust him and went through his phone. It seems like he would be right not to trust you.

    • Lemdee@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, there are a couple issues here. First being that they felt the need to hide the burrito from their partner, and the other one being that their partner had violated privacy by going through their phone without consent.

      No win scenario, honestly. Sit and stew that they didn’t trust you with the food info or confront and watch the situation explode as you reveal you didn’t trust them more.

      • neamhsplach@beehaw.orgOP
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        1 year ago

        Yeah fuck thank you for commenting this because you’re dead right about that last point. I felt possessed, I needed to know what was happening because I just knew they were lying. But going through their phone isn’t a trustworthy way of verifying that.

        As I mentioned below, I am SO relieved that it was a burrito and nothing else. I just find the lying so weird.

        They’re the one who complains about me ordering fast food too! Maybe that’s why they hid it, so they wouldn’t seem hypocritical??

        • Lemdee@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, that’s probably the reason if they give you crap about it like that. Honestly, it seems like a great thing to work out in couples therapy. Having a neutral mediator there might go a long way. Idk your situation or how much that makes sense (more sense for marriage, less so for dating). But there’s a line of communication somewhere that’s been broken and needs to be mended to move forward. Best of luck OP.

  • effingnerd@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    There’s a lot to unpack in this scenario, but without knowing anything about previous trust issues in your relationship or any shame or other feelings your partner may have towards food/weight/body image, I think it comes down to that we are all need private moments in our lives to maintain our sanity.

  • surrendertogravity@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I worked from the office during Donut Day (June 2nd, dunno who decided that); later in the evening, I’m chilling and playing TotK when my partner comes up to me, clearly feeling guilty of something, and admits that while I was gone they went to Krispy Kreme for a free donut. admittedly I can get a little possessive over food, but hey I was just glad at least one of us got to enjoy a free donut! 😂

  • LemmyAtem@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I can’t tell if this is a joke post but my honest two cents is that you both have trust issues and there are some major red flags from you both. Your partner should not be worried about telling you where he was or what he was doing, and you should not be distrusting to the point that you’re going through his phone. Especially over a burrito.

    • neamhsplach@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I’m sorry to say that this is indeed a true story, obviously heavily edited to remove any identifying features of the parties involved.

      I do have an update for you all! When we woke up, I didn’t want to talk about the phone situation so I just casually dropped burritos into a conversation earlier, waited a while, then asked them to be honest about where they had gone the night before. They came clean about the free burrito. From what I can gather, it sounded like a shameful stress induced feast that they didn’t want to reveal to me. I’ve had similar issues in the past and boy do I empathise. I told them to either be more open in the future or at least get better at hiding it 🤣 my heart can’t take any more secret burrito rendezvous.

      A genuine thanks for all the comments, there has been some really heartfelt advice here 🥰 I’m not saying either of us acted perfectly in this situation and it is nice to be able to talk about it anonymously with all you lovely people.