Run out on a branch with a saw and watch the world fall down as I cut through the branch behind me.

I’m lasooing the moon closer, so I can climb on and get away from this place.

I work as a slot technician. One of our jobs is moving slot machines with hand trucks. When setting them down, one typically counterbalances the weight of the machine with their body. I wanna get catapulted across the casino floor, fly through the air while screaming like Goofy, and hit the wall leaving a silhouette-shaped hole.

Thankfully, the only injury I should sustain is little coins going around my head.

I’ll start running but build up speed by running in place first. Also that will have a distinct sound effect.

Run off a cliff and never look down = flight.

Also have an enemy draw a really cool place on a wall and run through it.

I live in America, so I’m digging a hole lime Bugs Bunny and traveling to anywhere else after taking a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

IRL Rocket Jumping.

Probably still gonna hurt, but not anywhere near as much, and my body will not be, you know, liquified/dismembered, just comically singed.

I’m going to walk off a cliff with my eyes closed and see how far I can get before I fall.

Then that road runner is going to get whats coming to it.

Amazed nobody has said float through the air on the waft of a delicious pie yet

Boing! Boing! Jumping off a roof so I can bounce bounce bounce, I can’t jump for shit IRL and I want to.

Also maybe some NSFW stuff I am not about to detail.

If it counts, I’d love to have a portable black circle disk thing like in Toontown so I could return home in an instant.

If that doesn’t count, I wouldn’t mind having falls only cause me to accordion and not take much, if any, damage if I land on my feet paws.

Edit: Instant, not instance.

Also, realized being able to grab things from thought bubbles visible only to me would be nice. Need to defend myself? I now have a, hopefully, fully loaded glock whenever I need one.

Phone call someone and during the split screen physically jump into their side of the call.

I’m gonna sneak up behind you, and…

MEEP! MEEP!

Dress as a scientist with a labcoat, and build something really quickly by pulling tools out of nowhere as a giant cloud of steam covers up what I’m doing, revealing a giant scientific looking device that is labeled “restore normal laws of physics for everyone except me”. Push the button. Now I am the only one running on cartoon logic. I have hopefully prevented others from destroying the Earth by exploding giant bombs or whatever. Or racists from coming up with a “kill all non-white people” virus. Or a variety of other horrors.

Then do things like build an anti-corruption ray and fire it at major government buildings. Panacea-ray to be given to hospitals. Climate-change regulation machine. Etc. Lots of different rays lmao.

Come up with plan to reduce suffering in the universe and harness cartoon physics into technology without someone being able to exploit this awesome power for evil. Do not do this alone. Gather others. Watch cartoons for ideas. Think this bs through a lot more.

I think I’d build a time-stopping device with immunity necklaces to place around the necks of the smartest and most compassionate people on Earth (which I’d use another tracking device to find) to give everybody time to think through ideas on what to do. That way everyone in the hospitals could stop dying while we think through ideas, giving us time to save them. Probably end up giving others the cartoon physics power after building a device to find the best candidates for the responsibility, and shooting them with the anti-corruption ray.

Probably shoot MYSELF with the anti-corruption ray to keep myself from going insane with power.

Fix the world, then later, fix the universe. End involuntary suffering. End involuntary death for those who do not wish to die. Fix entropy. Have fun forever.

Sticking my finger in the barrel of a cops gun so it blows up in their face.