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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Unhappy-Door505 on 2023-09-15 21:07:33.
I (F22) recently started living with my boyfriend (M22). I hate sharing personal hygiene stuff. I have two different soaps for body and face, and three towels ( body, face and hair). My boyfriend has one towel that he uses to dry, well everything. Its gross to me.
Anyway he knows not to use my stuff. Today I found him with the towel dedicated to my face wrapped around his waist.
I was so grossed out and yelled at him for using it. He said he wanted to take a shower and couldn’t find his. I am still mad and refusing to talk go him .
He called me selfish and said I am acting like a AH over a towel. That its not a big deal.
AITA?
Hmm. For me towels are optional. I air dry. I think that feeling grossed out is a normal reaction because some dead and moist and loose skin comes off when doing a “dry towel scrub”.
The same glands in your pubes are in your armpits and hair AFAIK, so if any one gets nasty and stinky bacteria, it will spread. Ideally a nice smelling person isolates the stinkiest of the three and cleans with soap and once all three are clean then don’t care?
I think attacking your person " calling selfish" when taking something off limits of yours may be a pattern. I think he should have just gone without (as he would have if you weren’t there).
I would confront him. First i would write out the facts, Second starting a convo to agree on the facts and third negotiating out the pattern that you want to play out in similar situations in the future.