To be honest, it’s really hard to find somebody who is actually self-aware and empathetic. I mean, people talk the talk, but it seems like they’re not affected by things. I really do enjoy solitude and I’m not a lonely person really. Like, I would like to experience a full human life, but that’s not going to happen in this late stage techno feudal imperialism. What I’m saying is, the criteria for nonsense and bullshit is slowly becoming less tolerant on my end. Like, I would want somebody attractive, but I would choose the uglier person if they had a brain. I’m just keeping it real. Like in this world of billionaire nonsense where we’re bounced around like ping pong balls living inside of containers of bullshit are you able to see what actual human animal existence is really .can you put the modern world on pause and be a human being? Our lives are meaningless bullshit and people that infuriate me the most are those that are optimistic. Yet, if you got to know me, you would realize that I’m incredibly optimistic. But like all things are affected by their environment. For I am a product of my environment. Because you know, there is no war but the class war.
Not in a relationship, feeling is there anyway.
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Ok, to be clear I’m attempting to state the absence of a romantic relationship.
There are still people who have expectations that I need to fulfill including myself. Life is bad enough the way it is and by no choice of my own I regularly have to think about the person I have romantic feelings for. (Though that feeling is not inherently negative)
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jokes on you I have a gut wrenching feeling from being single
Same… pushing 31 and nada… fml
Nah, your life is cool anyway
You’re not supposed to have a gut wrenching feeling 24/7 when in a relationship.
A relationship is a friend you do extra things with.
I dunno how I feel about this summing up. Like, yeah, but also so much more. For one they mostly remove gut wrenching feeling xD
Yep, a good relationship should just be your favourite person to spend time with that you also find sexually attractive (and vice versa).
I have an anxious attachment style. My brain says no, fuck my feelings regardless. :(
Or, to bring Relational Anarchism to bear, a relationship is an ongoing interaction between people, sometimes even just with one’s own self. Then, having established that a relationship exists, the participants of this relationship may choose to define said relationship using whatever terms and conditions they feel are fitting. And here’s the clincher: nobody outside of the relationship gets to have any say in what ANY aspect of that relationship means. Friendship? That’s literally got “ship” in it, but parenthood? Also a relationship. Professional, personal, inter-personal, monogamous, non-monogamous, poly, aromantic, FWB… All valid terms to use, and not a single one of them can possibly define a relationship by itself.
I kind of get what you are saying but parenthood is not like this. The kid doesn’t get to have a say, and there are extremely important laws on what you can do both with kids and their other parent. And a hateship? Like, what if a dude just starts hateshipping you because he was mistreated and is in pain, you can call the police and say fuckety fuck off or go to jail, so society has something to say about it too. Even disregarding these exceptions, I don’t get a lot of aha moments from this perspective? Maybe that’s a good thing but I feel like if someone doesn’t understand these basic teachings about relationships, they’re probably traumatised real bad and it’s a good message. At the same time if it is aimed at bigots, they have pretty specific other reasons for why they think it’s their issue what other people’s relationships are about, and those are more akin to brainwashing and propaganda than straight trauma, (but it could always be both I guess). Free love has been around for many years now, and there was no societal issues, so any dissent on the topic should be extremely easy to dismiss. Maybe I’m underestimating the current state of the US though.
I am a relational anarchist, but I was simplifying. No need for quantum physics where Newtonian physics do the trick !
Im gonna use that phrase from now on , thanks stranger!
There’s probably room to make it snappier, have fun !
I’m gonna wrench her guts, alright?
“extra things” ;3
That consistent light nausea is just how true love feels, bro!
yo Fenriz my man, wake up, you’re on Lemmy !
If your relationships involve a “gut wrenching feeling 24/7” you might have other problems
Clearly a euphemism for anal sex. Once or twice a day is fine, but 24/7 is far too much. I’d also be hiding in nature at that point
“It’s just a matter of time before she discovers I’m only an emergency hologram…”
Problem, preference, or orientation. It’s impossible to tell.
People just seem to use me and I have trust issues
Op had a really bad relationship
Never recovered at least thus far anyway
Honestly I get it, I’ve been single for 11 years now. I went through a series of toxic relationships and the last one broke me. After her I decided to take a break from dating a try to figure out why I kept attracting only toxic women.
It’s been 11 years and I still haven’t figured it out, and now I’m in my 40’s and don’t really want to date again. What I’m trying to say is, take some time, heal, get your head straight, but get back out there sooner than later. It’s easy to fall into the “I’m happier single” mindset, but difficult to get out of.
It can be (just a wild guess) that you aren’t looking for a friend first, and then evaluating what would happen if you fucked a lot and lived together. When you go from the other end, things tend to end up damaging. You’re gameable, so it’s not only random at that point, but many will use you. (this goes the same for both (s)exes)
I really think it’s environmental that will get you bounce back. And if you’re in a pattern, break the pattern. Because once you change your environment, you will change yourself. To be honest, changing your environment is the only way to change yourself in my opinion. But there are realities to working class lives. And in a way, indirectly and hidden from plain sight, our freedom of movement is dictated by our ability to acquire capital. Like the children are only given a certain amount of calories in Gaza. “Put them on a diet” It gives the impression that the oppressors are merciful while at the same time, it kneecaps the liberation struggle. They do this to US in the workplace. They pay us enough to just get by. The whole life is dictated by our ability to just live in their obscure company town. Yet, there are still prison breaks, and there is hope that one day something will change, and if you make the right decisions, you can escape your fate to some degree. I just think about the allegory of the cave. I won’t be going back into that fucking cave. Fuck the self oppressor aka the coward. They didn’t listen before. Why would they listen now? It’s pearls before swine. I will not internalize the slave mind and the guilt of all those that stare at the dancing shadows on the wall. I will avoid the witch hunt by not being seen. Justice is always served. Thank God all men die. Ps. You also might be living in a toxic culture. Starting a family in, say, like America, to me just seems socially irresponsible. If I lived in the wild like humans used to, I would work with a collective of people and we would build a community where we could withstand the peaks and valleys of uncertainty, in line with natural law. There would be no patriarchy. Born out of necessity in union with nature.
at least thus far
You can do it!
Or don’t. Whatever life you want to live is fine. I’m not here to kink shame.
Damn I’m sorry to hear that.
Jesus? Fucker! Wake up man! We need you! What you need a suit or cape or something? Get the heck up and start busting racist assholes! I would totally start with a little afganese testicle removal… But in godly excruciating slow motion. With an old, dirty, dull wooden roof shingle. Maybe add ghost pepper to the shingle in lemon juice, vinegar and alcohol mix.
We’ve lost the plot if going outside is edgy
Happily single is how I describe it. Still got my kids and they are grown. No one has to put up with me and I don’t have to take shit from anyone in my personal life.
Time to end that relationship. I spend my day waiting to go home and see my partner
That was the only thing that pushed me out of bed for a while, the fact that I’d get to come home to the perfect woman later.
Dated a string of people who didn’t deserve my trust, so I know that gut-wrenching feeling all too well. Life is more peaceful without it.
They always talk about wading through a bunch of weeds or whatever but hey, I get it, no one has that kind of time anymore to wade through a bunch of assholes to find the fhe one decent person anymore. Life gets short. It can become the kind of noise and drama you just don’t want to mar up your life with.
Out of the plethora of coffee dates from the online apps I’d say there were approx 90% of the people on there that really shouldn’t be dating others and should be in some sort of counselling or just straight up scammers. Several hadn’t been in any relationship that lasted more than 6 months for a good reason.
Even in the last 10% maybe there was no chemistry but I did make some friends. One I’m still good friends with even today since Covid times.
It took about 3 yrs to find someone worth dating with chemistry. Like seriously it’s like friggin career training these days.
I’ve had a lot of painful relationships so i understand. It takes time, especially if you get burnt. It’s still good to find someone nice who will eventually become your one.
A wild Fenriz meme
GYLVE
