Did your parents have sex around you as a child?
And if so, what (if any) effect has it had on you?
Is it weird/confusing/traumatic for children, or does it provide a healthier and more realistic model of sexuality than pornography and school-based sex education?
My parents encouraged destigmatization of nudity (nudist beaches, a shower or two together, etc.), but no they did not have sex around me or my siblings and think that’d be fucked up if someone told me their parents did that to them.
I can’t even think of how someone would have “sex in front of their kids”. Sure, sex when kids are say in the next room, or in the same house seems harmless enough.
I imagine that OP meant a scenario like, “hey kids, don’t come in our room without knocking, because we’re going to have sex” instead of “this is how you give a BJ. Let me demonstrate on ur dad. Watch n learn bitch”. If they meant the latter, then… uhhh yeah that’s fucked up.
From your post history it seems you’re in or from the UK so you should know performing any sexual act in front of a child is illegal in the UK and honestly, just asking this question seems noncey.
Edit: Lots of paedo apologists in this thread it seems.
just asking this question seems noncey
But why? Would it be noncey to talk about whether we got circumcised as children and how we feel about it now?
Most people who get circumcised are fine with it and think it’s weird or gross to not be. I’m not cut and I hate the idea of it ever being done to me though. Odd how reality defies expectation there. I wonder if that is true of other men too. Hmm, maybe there are other topics this could also be true in, do you possibly think?
This question is about the habits of people’s parents, and how it affected them growing up. This is not a question about fucking kids, and interpreting it as such is so out there it borders on the deliberate, which seems pretty fucking noncey to me. Why are you interpreting this as asking for permission to fuck kids?
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We are not talking about fucking in front of children, we are talking about the lived experience of people who that has happened to and how it affected them. That means you are the one drawing false equivalence (you are equating fucking in front of kids with talking about the impact it had on the person). These are life experiences and can be talked about without the need for any thought-policing by you.
I also made no assertions that the OP was asking for permission to be a paedophile.
Is that so…
just asking this question seems noncey
This you?
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I do however think it’s not an unreasonable assumption to make that a paedophile may want to read stories of parents sexually abusing their children.
Really, that’s where you mind went from reading OPs question? I think that says more about you than OP.
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This wasn’t really a thread about child abuse until you showed up.
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Right, exept OP said “around”, like in the same house for example. It was you that changed it to “in front”. Those are very different implications.
For sure. And just to be 100% clear: child welfare needs to be our top priority at all times and in all places, with no exceptions. Lemmy is international and multicultural though and the post is already producing thoughtful and responsible discussion based on lived experience.
I’m happy for mods to remove the post or even to remove it myself if the discussion becomes toxic or unsafe.
There have been plenty of reputable studies that show parents need to stop being casually naked in front of their children by a certain age. Usually 5/6 IIRC. Otherwise it causes a lot of confusion for the kids as they start to develop sexually and become more curious about their own genitals. They don’t know how to tease out the difference between “I like how that person looks “and “that’s my mom.”
If you’re trying to actually understand the subject, I would encourage you to look at some of those studies. Not that this isn’t a worthwhile exercise I don’t really know what you’re up to so it may be exactly what you need. But if you’re looking for real answers, I would start there
Edit: since people are whining and downvoting instead of doing a 5s cursory search:
Link to those studies, please.
There’s a huge difference to just seeing a naked body doing its thing, like sauna, or swim, or relax in the sun, or sleeping, or ill; and the same body as an erotic object
That’s what I keep telling the community pool manager, but I’m still banned.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9681119/
At age 17-18, participants were assessed for levels of self-acceptance; relations with peers, parents, and other adults; antisocial and criminal behavior; substance use; suicidal ideation; quality of sexual relationships; and problems associated with sexual relations. No harmful “main effect” correlates of the predictor variables were found.
boys exposed to primal scenes before age 6 had reduced risk of STD transmission or having impregnated someone in adolescence. In contrast, girls exposed to primal scenes before age 6 had increased risk of STD transmission or having become pregnant.
It is suggested that pervasive beliefs in the harmfulness of the predictor variables are exaggerated.
Notice the studies almost always cap at 6. I say “almost” out of caution, I have always seen it as 5 or 6.
I’d also like to investigate how this jives with the well documented sexual attraction dynamics of siblings. Those who grow up together are almost never attracted to each other no matter how much they see each other naked. Those that are raised separately and meet for the first time as adults are often very attracted to each other due to genetic reasons that apparently we have a mechanism for overcoming when raised together. I would expect to find there was a similar mechanism regarding our parents.
I’m not getting bogged down in an argument picking apart my source because someone made up their mind already. Plenty to choose from it’s a well-trodden subject. Find a journal or outlet you respect.
My sources aren’t strong enough so I refuse to share them.
FTFY
Think what you want, you’re free to look it up or not. I don’t really care. I made an observation if yall want to follow it up or not. I’m not having a debate over this
If it’s so well trodden then share a review or meta-analysis, nobody (or at least not me, doubt anyone else either) will bother to dig out the referenced studies one by one.
Citation required
Do the studies exist?
Since apparently I keep getting shit for not doing basic searches for an easy to find topic, here.
Edit: oh look no responses. It’s almost as if I was right to not want to waste my time in the first place.
Both of those first two studies (the third one is not a study) say that there’s actually not a significant harm, especially just for nudity.
Not to mention the fact that they’re both really old (pre-2000) and based on data collected from the 1970s to the 1990s and pre-date home internet access and only from data collected in the US(actually only in 3 cities in California)
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Wat
That’s a pretty unusual upbringing! How do you feel about it now that you’ve grown up? Are you a Wiccan yourself?
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Yes they did since houses are relatively small as far as distance go and there’s plenty of couples with more than a child.
And is that typical in the culture you’re from?
Indoor sex while parenting is not unheard of. It’s not a highly discussed topic, but it’s not frowned upon either.
You could probably find the odd parents that lose their drive while parenting.
What a stupid question.
Is having multiple children typical in your culture?
No, they meant if having sex when children r around was common in their culture.
Yes. Parents have sex at home lmao
They might even do it at night. Shocker.Do you choose to be stupid? Or were you born like this? You know exactly what OP meant, if you can’t have a proper discussion, feel free to use your half braincell somewhere else.
@OP: I think it’s unusual for parents to have sex when the kids are around. I’d hope that they make sure the kids are asleep if the parents are about to have sex. Also, I’d think that it’s better to talk to your kids about the topic instead of carelessly having sex around kids.
Sometimes i have to lower myself to your level, yes.
Jesus christ, are you for real? xD
Well, we can guess what OPs porn searches look like.
It is an honest question with zero subtext. You’re free to mock me if you want but the post is intended for honest and sincere discussion about people’s lives.
Doubt
Childish.
Username doesn’t check out
