That’s awful. I’m so sorry you both had to endure that. Anyone trained properly in memory care knows to not correct people precisely because of how much needless distress it causes the patient.

I agree. With my mom, I only corrected her when it felt wrong not to. Like when I went to check on her wearing just pajama pants and she thought I was my dad - I wasn’t up to playing along with her being flirty, but even then I just said “Hey mom, how are you doing?” Otherwise, just letting her be happy seemed best.

I know people who work in long term care and anyone who continually corrects someone with dementia (or similar) to bring them back to reality, is cruel. Simply put, they don’t remember, and they won’t remember the reminder; so what happens is that they get sad and depressed over it, forget it happened, then they don’t understand why they feel sad/depressed. It’s mean, and serves no useful purpose.

IDK what’s wrong with people, where they need to tell everyone how wrong they are all the time. Like, give it a break. You don’t have to prove that you know things, and you don’t need to prove that someone is wrong to demonstrate your big brain. If someone is wrong, let them be wrong. Why do you care so much about it? If they’re happy in their incorrect thoughts, and they’re not harming anyone by being wrong, then it doesn’t matter. Just let them think what they want.

For anyone in a LTC facility, it’s disgraceful and downright unprofessional at best… I’d call it psychological torture, which is probably more correct.

Yeah. I only ever corrected her when she asked a direct specific question. In that case, I’m pretty sure she was having a lucid moment and wanted some confirmation.

Every other time, I just let it pass.

Her real question was usually “Is someone looking out for him sufficiently, since I can’t right now?” And the answer to that was “Yes. You don’t need to worry about him.” Which is roughly what I tended to say.

(I look like him, so I got this question more often than most.)

Sorry for the notification this reply gives you.

So sorry. That is a very tough thing to bear. If you ever need to talk or vent or whatever I am here.

It plagues my entire family and I will likely get it too. I lost my great grandma, both grandmas, my aunt has it, my mom is showing signs of it

Fuck dementia there is no disease more cruel

I’m sorry to hear that. As hard as it is for her, I know it’s even worse for those that love her. Wishing you all the best.

Spend time with her while you can. Please don’t give yourself the opportunity to regret not doing it. I understand that it can be hard, but you’ll be thankful later that you had the chance.

My father was taken last year after suffering from Alzheimer’s for several years. A year or so after he had enough symptoms to be diagnosed, he became nonverbal and a shadow of the person he was. My advice is to spend as much time with her as you can before it gets worse. By the time I realized how bad things had gotten, it was too late for me. My father could not carry on a conversation.

I’m sorry you have this news weighing on you. It’s not something I would wish on anybody. Take care of yourself and all the best to you and your family in this difficult time.

Go visit c/[email protected] or something instead

It’s depressing comic week apparently.

Having been through this exact moment, more or less, I do find it pretty funny.

I’ve had enough time, I suppose. (“Tradgey plus time”, as they say.)

If we’re lucky, we get to live long enough to meet the same new people every day and laugh at the the same joke every day. If we’re unlucky, we remember the people that are there anymore.

https://www.cbc.ca/listen/cbc-podcasts/1387-let-s-not-be-kidding-with-gavin-crawford