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I think a sequel to Harry Potter where he wakes up one day to find wands nailed to each hand and he has to fight off hordes of badguys to get to the final boss so he can save his redhead girlfriend would be sweet, they could call it Wands Akimbo and it would make a billion kagillion dollarbucks at the box office
We held a small writing contest on this discussion forums about 15-20 years back. The prompt was to rewrite the Epilogue of Book 7.
One of the entries was pretty much this, except that the nurse gives Harry his pills and wheels him away to his room for the night.
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But wait, there’s more, because unless my memory fails me, I think the nurses and other patients were named after the characters in the book.
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It’s that scene at the empty white train station, and Dumbledore is there. “My boy”, he whispers, stroking his hair sadly, “my dear boy”.
A packed train comes, disgruntled passengers file out and filter around them, bit by bit robbing them of their possessions and clothing.
Harry stands naked and hairy in front of the now empty train, and with Dumbledore’s nod of approval, he steps in through the doors where his parents are waiting.
The door closes, and Harry’s train departs leaving Dumbledore alone at the station once more. Dumbledore reaches into the depths of his robes and procures a massive spliff, plods it easily between his lips, raises his lighter to it and - POOF - all the lights go out.
Fin.
After his brutal splattering on the pavement below, a giant grim faced grizzled man looked on the scene and sighed, “shame he ended up a muggle”
Harry would be a squib raised by muggles, not a muggle.
Harry wakes up in a goo tank, like so:
Would explain a lot of the plot holes anyway
The children of Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione arrive at Hogwarts for their first day. They shuffle into the big hall along with all the other new students, where they are welcomed by the headmaster - Gandalf.
Phoebe, Prue and Piper show up as substitute teachers. Buffy kills everyone in Hogwarts.
That reminds me, theres an episode of Buffy, season six I think, where she’s a normal person in a psych ward being treated for her vampire delusions.
Yup
The “and then he woke up and nothing that happened actually happened”-ending is kind lame, it’s not even pissing me off, it’s just boring, has been done too often. This is the kind of stuff I used to write when we had to write stories in school. To piss me off she’d have to - I don’t know - turn Umbridge good for some reason and save everyone by giving detention to Voldemort who has to write “I may not kill muggles” with her creepy quill, some shit like that.
Piss me off? Mate this would have been fucking epic
The official ending was already quite kind of meh in my opinion.
If anyone enjoys this sort of concept but hasn’t seen The Magicians, I recommend the show.
Especially if you’re a young adult, horny and into musicals.
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Somewhat. I think the musical numbers don’t show up until a few seasons in. It’s not the whole show. I remember thinking “WTF is happening?” They weren’t bad, I guess. It felt a bit like the show was jumping the shark but not totally out place in a horny, gender-bending, college-age Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Narnia.
Fuck that lead character, whiny bitch. Couldn’t stand him, stopped watch after like three episodes.
This, but it’s set in the Twilight Universe.
If that’s the worst ending you can think of, your imagination is lacking.
Y’all need Jesús, smh
