I ate macdonald at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from eating shit. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said “who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean.” I hugged him and threw my fries on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the threw down their insulin needles on the ground, chanting “down with communism!” God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped and all of our diabetes was cured