• YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I think its kind of weird everyone just assumes this was posted by a woman, unless I’m missing something. Men are parents too, and they can also be dumb like this.

    • HollowNaught@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Wtf this comment just made me realise I always assume these “natural remedy” posts are done by a female oop

      This can’t be the way I find out I’m sexist

      • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        It’s not sexism. Your brain naturally attributes probability from things it has seen in the past. The natural remedy of OPs sort is dominated by female sex so your brain just makes natural connection because it wants to be efficient in it’s world building process.

        Sexism is when you don’t self reflect on initial thoughts that you do not control and pursue these notions further in thoughts you control or simply refuse this dichotomy all together if you’re a wilful idiot powere by trauma.

        • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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          5 days ago

          That is sexism though because there us no rational reason to believe this individual is a woman just because most of the time it has been a woman doing this in the past.

          What you have done is explain why casual sexism exists and why it continues to exist. I don’t think it is bad to have these thoughts as long as you recognize them for their irrational nature and respond accordingly.

          • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            because there us no rational reason to believe this individual is a woman

            yes, but there are some thoughts you don’t control. The brain is a giant probability machine which is also capable of thinking but the probability machine always go first.

            It’s not a new idea either, the entire philosophy of Stoicism is based around dichotomy of thought where thoughts happen and then we have the capacity to conciously react and correct ourselves. This also exists in Buddhism so we’ve been aware of this for a very long time and this discovery still holds true in contemporary sciences.

          • brygphilomena@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            This is how a lot of systemic racism and sexism persists, yes. But to be sexist, I think it’s the lack of self awareness to check yourself and the things you are doing or a willful disregard for it.

            While racism and sexism is taught, I do think it underscores a key aspect of how the human mind works. We all have prejudices because the brain would be overloaded if it couldn’t take historical patterns and apply them to new information and situations. “Being taught” doesn’t necessarily means a person showed them or told them to be sexist or racist, but just being exposed to stereotypes will make the brain take that shortcut in the future.

            That also means that we all have to be vigilant to identify them when they occur and challenge them. It also means we as a society need to put up safeguards to protect us from the shortcomings of our species. It’s why DEI is necessary. It’s why hate crime laws need to be on the books and enforced. We need to hold each other as a society to a higher standard than we as an individual could ever be.

          • Hemingways_Shotgun
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            5 days ago

            I think you’re missing the difference between sexism (or any ism for that matter) with human bias.

            There’s a point in every enlightened person’s life when they wake up and realize “Everyone, INCLUDING ME, have ingrained biases developed from years of past experiences.” It’s not good, and we try to recognize it when it happens so that we can improve as humans. But at no point does that become “sexism”; it just human nature and one that we have to be on the lookout for in ourselves.

            What becomes sexism (or any ism for that matter ^save Ferris^ ) is when that bias becomes purposeful and targeted. It’s not a bias anymore, it’s been taken and turned into a weapon.

            In other words, please lighten up. Running around calling everyone evil sexist nazis because they have a harmless bias is the reason that we end up with reactionary groups like Incels and MAGA.

            • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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              5 days ago

              No, Im not. When you permit your bias to influence your thinking you end up with the relevant -ism. That’s what happened here. The catch is everyone has these problems so it isn’t unique to yourself or worth beating yourself up over. What you should do is note it so the next time you don’t repeat the mistake.

            • YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world
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              5 days ago

              Harmless bias LOL. No, sexism does not have to be at all intentional, it’s baked into society and culture, it’s still harmful even if you don’t declare you’re a sexist or even know it for that matter.

    • spongebue@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Mom groups are definitely a thing, and even where things don’t have to be for moms specifically the mentality still exists. My daughter was a “nano-premie” and was on oxygen for a while. I’m on a group for parents that have to deal with that, and every week or two there will be a post starting with “any moms who _______”

      I like to answer those posts and start by asking if dads can also answer (but also give a real answer too!)

      It is kind of hard when you try to be an involved dad but then get ignored in different ways

      • YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        That does sound hard. You deserve recognition and respect and appreciation, I’m sorry you have to deal with that.

        • spongebue@lemmy.world
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          5 days ago

          Appreciate it. I’m generally able to roll my eyes, make that comment, still help, and move on.

          And to be fair, I did make a post in that group about that subject (basically, that dads exist and feel a bit ignored when questions are needlessly directed at “moms”, but understanding that Mom groups have their place in the world too) and the response was overwhelmingly (I believe entirely) positive. And there have since been “and dads” mentioned in posts was well! But there are a lot of people who come in and don’t stay forever.

    • Sturgist
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      5 days ago

      My old manager specifically mentioned the onion strapped to the foot thing in regards to his daughter having a bad fever.