It seems that Cardassians would probably be annoyed and bored by most historical earth procedural shows. Columbo though lets them know up front who is guilty and of what, and the rest of the running time is the investigator mentally toying with the perpetrator. I think it would be very appealing to Cardassians to watch a protagonist that forces a perpetrator to break down and confess their crimes in every episode.
You would find yourself deeply mistaken if you believe that Cardassia would be interested in watching Federation Propaganda about a clairvoyant detective.
Are we to believe that this Columbo possesses supernatural talent or wit?
Surely, only a Cardassian detective could determine the guilty party upon first accusation.
Are we to believe that this “clairvoyant detective” has solved all these cases and yet there is not one single statue of him on Earth?
there is not one single statue of him on Earth?
Oh! Legate Damar, geez I’m sorry to bother you with this - I see you’re relaxing with the kanar there - it’s just that . . . well, sir, something about the explosion of that Antarean freighter just isn’t adding up, and I wondered if maybe you knew what I’m missing here . . .
Edit: adjusted to meme appropriate text
Oh, of course, sir - I didn’t mean to imply. It’s just, y’see . . . you reported the vessel’s core breach at 09:03 on 47821.6.
Well sir, the thing is that the Federation Sector Array which is right near there you see is recording that explosion at, uh . . 09:13 on 47821.6. Now how d’ya suppose that extra ten minutes got in there? It’s the darndest thing.
Now I thought - of course, I don’t know much about Sector Arrays and the like, but see I thought - maybe it was off, by ten minutes? That could account for it. But then my wife, y’see, she tells me that all the Sector Arrays are sequenced exactly to Federation Universal Time, and if it’s off by even a tiny little bit it throws all kinds of alarms, and they rush out there to take a look, and so on.
So anyways, I thought I’d check to see if maybe you remember something else that might help figure out what happened with that.
[Cue nervous drinking, which, while largely indistinguishable from regular “drinking” for Damar, carries with it a slight twinge of trepidation]:
Excellent in character and in universe interpretation!
“I’m a very busy man, Columbo - there are three reported Jem Ha’dar attacks in the DMZ in the last week alone! I don’t have time to remember every detail about some freighter I’ve never even heard of before!”
I’d think Cardassians would think it’s silly going about “proving” who did the crime and “collecting evidence” when you’ve already decided who the criminal is and can easily manufacture the required evidence. If they did find it interesting, they would probably see it as a comedy of the absurd.
From the words of Gul Dukat:
A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness.
It’s not just about putting somebody away physically. It is about making them break down and admit what they did, and admit that you figured it out because you are superior.
Ah, so that’s why they used facts to convince Picard they were right?
Precisely. And he rejected objective facts. Everyone lost that day, it was quite sad.
Just one more question, sir… Who doesn’t love Columbo?
Also, it is not true that Captain Janeway was married to Lt. Columbo. Do not believe the lies.
Ha!
Also Poker Face; which is basically a love letter to Columbo.
