I was with a man for four years and thought we were going to get married. He was a widower and I fell in love for the first time. When I found out he was cheating, it killed me. I felt my whole self die.

I miss myself. I wake up every day and go through the motions, even try to date here and there, but at the end of the day I am a soulless husk of a person. I’ve tried focusing on myself - losing weight, exercising, rejuvenating old hobbies, lots and lots of therapy and meds. Nothing helps. At this point I’m only living because I have three pets who rely on me.

I still don’t understand why I deserved that. I guess this is just as good as life gets for someone like me.

  • lath@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    5 days ago

    Few people get what we “deserve” in life. And that word is misused anyway.

    I mean the dude obviously believed he deserved multiple partners. You disagreed so he lost you. Does that mean his life is as good as it gets for him? Is he now hollow on the inside because he couldn’t keep multiple partners?

    There are highs and there are lows in life. How long they last nobody knows, but we should enjoy what we earn.

    Is this the best you can do in life? If you give up on it then probably. A common mistake is that people do stuff expecting a specific end goal when we should be enjoying the experience and letting an end goal forming naturally.

    Exercise, hobbies, therapy, meds - they’re a chore for you. They’re not enjoyable so of course the end result is an empty husk. There’s no meat inside, no joy, no love.

    You gotta give up these expectations and value the experience itself. If sports and your old hobbies don’t work, then try something new. But you gotta love it for what it is and not just use it to find love and then throw it away.