show transcript
lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster
scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,
Ted Talker
Hi my name is Colin Support
Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It’s basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They’re more based on relationship than occupation now.
Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)
That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town’s baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don’t really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it’s shifted now to more relationship based.
María Tiktoker
John Uberdriver
Sam Gamereviewer
Shorten them and it works
Maria Toker
John Uber
Sam Vèiwer
I’d be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I’m an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.Dang it and I was hoping you were What Bombs At Midnight.
Surf’s up, space ponies! I’m making gravy without the lumps!
In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, “Officer Pig”, “Sergeant Pig”, “Inspector Pig”, “Detective Pig”
The Management clan is huge.
And in 2027 there was a mass culling of the Private-Equity clan, when the revolution declared the entire family outlaw and they were hunted to the last junior.
It was ordained that the name of Private-Equity should be altogether abolished, and that the whole persons of that clan should renounce their name and take them some other name, and that they nor none of their posterity should call themselves Private-Equity or Investor under pain of death
Imagine being the actual John Gamer.
John Fallout
war doesnt change
Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.
one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.
also I’m super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤
It’s getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion’s CEO’s name* ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones’ fight to prevent it.)
*(his bluesky display name, at least)
thank you for making this even funnier for me
Oh, you guys are thinking small.
Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.
The worst part is that, fun as this is, I’m having flashbacks of every time I’ve said something along the lines of “Matt from HR” and realizing that’s how that has always worked.
David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.
Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.
Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar
"The prefix “from” is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used “the”, as in “Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman.”
“Working class families just don’t get a prefix. That’s why there are so many James Burgerkings out there”.
I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now
The Scottish way of Mc, ie Peter McChairman flows better, imo
That’s excellent
That’s how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I’m Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.
No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.
Timmy Onlyfansson
Duh. Long day.
That’s why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.
Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?
Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, …
So he thought, until he met Bobby fudgepacker.
Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.
Look at me, I’m Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly
We call him Little Bobby Tables.
Always. XKCD. Always.
Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.
Does he wear socks?
No. Jessica Fullstack Developer is also opposed to pants (religious requirement).
We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?
yea wasn’t he the guy from FTX?
Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.
To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷
Imagine Tony Head of Sales and Managment
