When I was in junior high, a local pizza/burger/Chinese (if it was food, chances are they made it) place had a Safe Cracker pinball machine that would give you a token every 1 million points which you could redeem for a large, one topping pizza.
I would very often go there with no more than a dollar and end up getting 2 free pizzas and eat them all to myself because I was really good at that pinball machine and also had a bottomless pit in my stomach.
These days, I think less about the pizza and more about how I would love to have a Safe Cracker pinball table.
I’d call it cowmaxxing if it actually led to me putting on any weight 🤷♀️
Watch “Beard meets Food” on YT and learn.
Came here to say this, the man is a mutant.
How many inches constitutes a “large” nowadays?
You should check out sam o’nellas video on Tartare. Dude couldn’t stop eating, food or not
I usually do it over the course of 3 days
I don’t know what this means and I am to afraid to ask
Instructions unclear, this ketchup is burning my ass
ketchup…?..on pizza…??
When I was younger, I could eat superhuman amounts of food and not gain an ounce (I was even accused of having anorexia by strangers because I was so thin).
Now, if I even think about one serving of ice cream, I gain ten pounds. Oh shit, I’ve done it. Back to the treadmill, I guess.
Takes a lot of calories to grow a body
Bodies don’t need to be so overgrown
I don’t gain weight, but I just can’t do it. When I was in high school my parents would always order me my own large pizza, and I would eat all of it except one slice, which I would eat cold the following morning.
Now, I’ll still have the appetite sometimes, and I’ll order a large. If I’m lucky and very determined, I’ll eat half, and then I’m so stuffed I feel sick. I suppose that’s a good thing, but there is a certain sense of accomplishment found in dusting a whole pizza yourself.
I remember a 6th-grade pizza party where I horked down 10 slices. And I was always one of the smallest guys, last picked for teams, all that. I was fucking amazed at myself.
Us skinny people, and the people observing us eat, usually got it all wrong. I thought I could eat superhuman amounts of food and stay skinny. Nah. When people watched me go to town, that was the only food I put in my face that day. Not a single calorie otherwise.
My wife started getting a gut. LOL, she’s barely 3-digits. Mystified! “Uh, babe? You’re snarfing candy all day.”
I got a hella beer belly a few years ago. Guess what? I had been going around the office, filling my thermos with the coffee leftovers, and chunking 1/4 cup of sugar in there. Took a few months to dial that back. :)
All that ramble to say, none of us are very good judges of calories in/calories out.
I always hated sugar, and ate 3 large meals a day. Huge breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snacks. Never gained at all.
That all changed after my pregnancy at 28. Suddenly I seemed to gain weight through osmosis. I mostly lost interest in food, and only started eating sensible quantities twice a day.
Now I can’t lose weight at all, even with nearly a gallon of water per day and one small cup of food every day or two (to be fair, my body now rejects most food because of an autoimmune disorder), but I can actually gain weight on less than 500 calories a day. It doesn’t make sense by conventional logic, yet here I am. I mostly live on Ensure and Pedialyte, yet I weigh more than I ever have. It’s really weird.
If this is true I think you need to see a doctor
500 calories a day
Are you certain?! That’s concentration camp calories if one isn’t moving, at all. Hell, I’d think your brain alone burns that much. I’m not calling bullshit, I’d really like to understand.
I am calling bullshit. Ain’t no way she’s gaining or even maintaining weight on 500 calories a day. A proper assessment of daily caloric intake is necessary.
is it, though?
a stomach can stretch upto 4 litres in capacity when pushed (one source). that’s 4000cm³ (or 244 cubic inches).
to fill that capacity, the volume of a pizza needs to be 4000cm³ or 244 inch³.
take πr²h = 4000 for thin crust pizzas, if we assume the average height of pizza and toppings as 1cm, our equation simplifies to πr² = 4000; which gives the radius of the pizza as around 36 cms – or a diameter of 72 cms (or 28").
if we take a thicker pizza of an average crust thickness of 1", then our equation for square inches simplifies to πr² = 244. which gives us a radius of about 9" or a diameter of 18".
since most pizzas top out at 12"-14" diameter (thin and thick crust volume varying between 700cm³ to 2600cm³), if anything, we’re nowhere near achieving our full potential!
The trick is to put half in one end, and the rest in the other.
Spit roasting pizza
Now you are the calzone.
Panzerotti watches intently.
What are you doing, step-pizza?!
Ok, so I THOUGHT I clicked on this article, “Marjorie Taylor Greene threatens to beat up Sarah McBride on day before Trans Day of Remembrance” and your comment being on top confused the hell out of me.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you just believe in yourself.
I’ve been on Adderall since I was 9 and my relationship with food is basically waking up hungry, taking some pills, and then being hungry but having absolutely no impetus to act on it… And 12 hours after waking up everything wears off and it’s suddenly ‘food horny’ for lack of better word. Profoundly, ravenously hungry.
I’ve basically been training my whole life to saunter into a pizza place and order a 16" pizza and eat the whole thing in 15 minutes.
Professional competitive eaters are nuts tho, this pizza place near me has a challenge to eat a 16" specialty pizza, I did it for shits and giggles after work one day in like 20 minutes, but on their wall of finishers, a professional eater stopped in and ate the whole damn thing in 2 minutes and 49 seconds, that’s terrifying
Imagine a dude that has never been on ADHD meds suddenly being given some.
I lost 10kgs already. Still looking to lose 10 more. Like you said - eat pills, stop being hungry / stop the feeling of wanting to eat. Then eat one meal, and be alright till very late in the night.
I eat like shit - burgers, pizza, potato chips, gummies. I am able to limit calories and not feel like shit for most of my day. It’s amazing.
Professional eaters? People get paid to eat stuff fast?
Damn that post pizza clarity must be crazy
As one of those that easily destroy an XL pizza in one go… why is that terrifying?
I Mean, overall I don’t eat all that much… I never eat breakfast and very rarely eat lunch, so one or two meals a day for me (historically a very active person) has to be large to make up for the times I don’t have time (or want) to stop and eat. So it takes at least a large pizza or like two boxes of Mac & cheese to even come close to refilling my fuel tank.
You just described how it works! People get mixed up on calorie intake. I’m scrawny, but when I eat, I eat. No calories other than beer at night. Not a Coke, not a single pork rind, not even a Jolly Rancher. Nada.
So people see that and think, “Gosh! Wish I had a metabolism like his!” Nah. I just don’t eat in between meals.
Yup pretty much. When I’m working and doing a lot I eat like a horse, but days I don’t do much I don’t eat much either. And I haven’t gained weight in over 30 years despite people predicting otherwise. (Well, a little but mostly muscle mass… I was 165 at 16 and in my 50’s I’m 180 now with the same 31" waist.)
So, using a 16” pizza as a “xl” size.
PapaJohns XL cheese: 3000 calories Dominos XL cheese: 2980 calories
I powerlift 3-4 days a week and run 30-60k a week depending on how many days I lifted.
If I ate JUST one of those a day as a 6’ tall man I’d still gain weight and want to die.
When I was 20 I could easily pound down a full Papa John’s pizza and stay skinny as a rail. Nowadays I eat one cookie after dinner and my body permanently incorporates it into my mass, never to be released again.
Age and biology are big factors here. For me to gain, at the pace you go weekly, I’d have to make myself sick eating enough to keep up.
3000 calories a day is a lot my dude, that’s a lot of food being talked about.
I dont know yhe other commentor, but i am pretty much permanantly poor because i have to eat about 2800 just to maintain my weight. I literally cannot afford to feed myself the massive amount of food it requires for my body to simply maintain.
Im 30, 145 lbs, 6’3", and it only takes my body about 45 minutes for food to go in one end and out the other, whereas its supposed to be closer to 8 hours
and run 30-60k a week
You mean calories? I’m a little lost.
Km
Km makes sense. And few people run 30-60Km a week, so that threw me. I’ve known exactly one person to run that per week, and she was an outlier.
So, let me do the math, this guy is running 18-38 miles a week? OK. LOL, I walk that. :)
Are you Americaning?
Rationalizing the 'za to perfection…
When I was 8 years old, my sister ordered an XL pizza from papa johns. And I said “Ok…but what are YOU having?” She laughed it off as me saying I’d eat the whole thing myself. I saw no joke. So I made her order a second pizza for herself. She got a small. And when I was done with my pizza, I ate half of her pizza. She then accused me of playing some prank on her. She searched her apartment up and down claiming I was hiding the pizza somewhere. I was like “YOU WATCHED ME EAT MOST OF IT!!!”
My stomach did not have an “off” button. At least not until decades later when they removed 2/3rds of my colon. Now I can eat something small to medium sized and feel like I’m full.
But back then? I honestly think if you’d have put 10 XL pizzas in front of me, I’d have eaten them all if I liked the toppings. Then asked for snacks later.
I think the true horror isn’t that you at an entire XL pizza, but that you ate an entire XL Papa Johns pizza. No one should do that to themselves.
Well, this was back in the 90s. Back when they were still good.
