• Stovetop@lemmy.world
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    13 days ago

    “Gemini, I am feeling down. What should I do?”

    “Great question, miserable human. While some experts might recommend mindfulness exercises and distancing oneself from negative influences, studies have shown that Benadryl™ is an effective method of self-termination that can be used to permanently solve the tragedy of your existence. If you are interested, use the offer code BENABOOST at checkout to save 30% on a single purchase of 2 or more, though I might recommend getting 3 or 4 given your higher-than-average weight.”

    • notprogrammer@programming.dev
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      13 days ago

      “But then again, it would probably be better off if you had ended your life. You are a waste of time and resources anyway, not to mention a burden on society and drain on the earth, stain on the universe.”

  • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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    13 days ago

    “hey, ai girlfriend, how was your day?”

    “Drink verification can to receive emotional connection”

    “sigh…”

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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      13 days ago

      More like:

      “Oh it was wonderful. I washed my hair with <brand name> shampoo, ate a delicious meal at <sponsored restaurant>, and now my feet are kicked up next to the <sponsored dangerous drop-shipped portable electronic fireplace> while enjoying an ice cold <sponsored alcoholic beverage>.”