• Stovetop@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    “Gemini, I am feeling down. What should I do?”

    “Great question, miserable human. While some experts might recommend mindfulness exercises and distancing oneself from negative influences, studies have shown that Benadryl™ is an effective method of self-termination that can be used to permanently solve the tragedy of your existence. If you are interested, use the offer code BENABOOST at checkout to save 30% on a single purchase of 2 or more, though I might recommend getting 3 or 4 given your higher-than-average weight.”

    • notprogrammer@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 day ago

      “But then again, it would probably be better off if you had ended your life. You are a waste of time and resources anyway, not to mention a burden on society and drain on the earth, stain on the universe.”

  • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    22 hours ago

    “hey, ai girlfriend, how was your day?”

    “Drink verification can to receive emotional connection”

    “sigh…”

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      edit-2
      20 hours ago

      More like:

      “Oh it was wonderful. I washed my hair with <brand name> shampoo, ate a delicious meal at <sponsored restaurant>, and now my feet are kicked up next to the <sponsored dangerous drop-shipped portable electronic fireplace> while enjoying an ice cold <sponsored alcoholic beverage>.”