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- cross-posted to:
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the only reason i enjoy hug people as much as i do today is because when i was in high school showing physical affection was mandatory. that was how you told them they had succeeded in breaking you out of your shell, and could now stop trying.
Just for the hell of it, if you want a well researched book about the value of all sorts of Rest to dispute that specific point.
“Being bad at stuff” is also so selective. The other kids are not expected to be two years ahead in math, but I am expected to be able to sit perfectly still for 4 hours and pay attention in an oxygen depleted room. Everybody has to have this nearly exact same skillset.
It’s not what society needs, not even what the industry needs in the workforce, but that is most convenient for the teachers.
That low oxygen training will come handy when you work on a spaceship or a submarine. Training the spacemen of tomorrow!
Its actually what corporate needs.
In fact, your being two years ahead in math makes your inability to sit still all the more disappointing. See above the lesson on Fulfilling Your Potential.
I remember when I was really, really young I hadn’t figured out all the nuanced definitions of the word “bad”. At some point (I think it was in Sunday school) I told an adult that I put cereal in the fridge once. They said that was bad. So then I was all like “fuck, I guess I’m going to hell”
Not even ADHD (but am autistic) and this hit hard
This is more autism than adhd and it’s a huge value of autistic people to reflect a “normal” attitude as absurdity.
Undiagnosed autism here with suspected ADHD, I feel called out by this entire list, and much of that is because I/we have had to figure it all out by ourselves.
Turns out I’m so good at masking I forget to admit to myself I’m not feeling well…
When you’re a kid, adults use the most specious reasoning to try to make you behave properly, and then when you’re the adult you do too.
Nah, kids deserve more credit than that. I’m honest with kids (to an age-appropriate level) because it’s vital that they develop critical thinking skills. Considering the world they’re growing up into, they’re going to need all the training they can get to become able to discern fact from fiction.
I give kids legit reasons. I explore their “Why” questions. Then when I don’t know the answer, I’ll be honest but supportive, “I don’t know, but let’s find out.” We have to model what being a rational adult is like, and how we come to logical conclusions. Children aren’t going to learn this stuff from being brushed off or told some silly explanation.
That being said, it’s important to be smart about context. It’s reasonable and responsible to disengage from the conversation if someone demonstrates that they aren’t arguing in good faith, whether they’re an adult or a child. The problem is, a lot of adults jump to whatever explanation makes their own life easier, without any regard to how their response can shape the future adult they’re speaking with. If you’re truly concerned about kids’ futures, you have to acknowledge that there is a lot you know that kids don’t know yet. Offer them the benefit of the doubt and seize these opportunities to teach kids how to think for themselves.
The fuck I do. That sounds like you’re just rationalizing your behavior.
By those terms, guess I’ll have to consider that I am not an adult, despite being an Oregon Trail millennial.
Your comment seems like a rational response to me.
You’re a biscuit?
You sound about as self aware as the adults they’re referring to.
lol, ok.
We live in a society.
no we don’t
we did. now we don’t.
Lemmy poetry ✍️
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Etiquette one I don’t agree. It’s just being respectful and mindful. You will acknowledge it once you see the absolute lack of it.
One of the things my parents did understand correctly as “new money” is that a significant portion of piddling etiquette rules about what color to wear at what times of the year and which fork goes on the left were largely ways for the bourgeoisie to attempt to maintain their advanced standing against the increases in (the potential for) equality that capitalism initially brought about. Unfortunately my parents are also a very “well we got ours so everyone else must be lazy” type of people who think that’s as good as equality can or should get.
Really depends on what part of it. There are things like offering your bus seat to someone who needs it, or waiting for people to exit before you enter. Those indeed make sense.
And then there’s what the other commenters pointed out, arbitrary rules about what cutlery to use and in which hand and such.
Except etiquette extends beyond just “common social etiquette”. Using a knife and fork the “correct way” is etiquette. Eating soup by scooping the spoon away from oneself is etiquette. Placing your cutlery the correct way on the dish when you’re finished is etiquette and varies wildly by country. These are just examples of dining etiquette, there’s much more. Its all bullshit and I agree it should boil down to being respectful and mindful, but depending who raised you it may happen that you get reprimanded and punished for not following very arbitrary rules.
Wait, theres a wrong way to scoop soup?! It seems I’ve been screwing up soup for a long time…
Yah, you scoop away. No slurping. No passing out in the bowl.
You can scoop however you want, but if you slurp I’m absolutely asking you to stop.
Pfft, I’m not not passing out in my soup
I have the most wonderful naps face down in soup
Agree. English isn’t my first language and I did not know it also meant dining etiquette.
Considering every culture has completely different etiquette, I’d argue otherwise. We’re talking drinking from bowls vs talking during a meal style stuff. I’ll hold my fork with the right hand and knife in left, despite being right handed and no etiquette freak can stop me!
Yeah, if anyone is bothered by which hand I hold my fork in, I’d say they should see a therapist and work it out on their end.
Why the fuck does it matter how I hold my forkor what spoon I eat soup with? Why does it matter where my ellbows are?
Idk why everyone is talking about dining etiquette.
too real
OP seems to be American
I’m in the UK and have experienced all of this
Sounds like you’re American too.
I’m from central Europe and have experienced all of this.
We are all American this blessed day.
Speak for yourself
We’re all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
Implying the British are less messed up about these things than the Americans?
Not so much, it was more an ironic take that the British find this second nature and normal and therefore correct and a slight dig that our American cousins are more uncouth because they’re less messed up in that regard.
Are you talking about me, or the person in the photo? If you’re talking about the former, then you would be correct.
There are….others??
I can easily see this written by someone from another country.
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A lot of these I remember learning from teachers rather than my parents. Also reinforced by other kids, assorted relatives, etc. Even good parents can’t protect you from the rest of society.
