Immediate:

• Focus on a task because I decided to do so
• Stay focused much longer without becoming exhausted or frustrated
• More respectful in conversations because I was able to stay focused on what they were saying. I also remembered what they said.
• Hope that things could improve

Long-term:

• More confidence in myself
• Reduced shame that I was rude, disrespectful, or careless about others. Paradoxically, this lead to me setting better boundaries when overwhelmed because I didn’t see them as rude.
• Less reliance on notes
• Less anxiety that I forgot something important
• Less vulnerable to manipulation because I was able to see patterns better since I could remember interactions more, and I was more confident that what I remembered was right.
• I was able to structure my days better. I developed a daily routine, eat healthier, and establish sleep schedule.
• More awareness as to what were issues I was having because of ADHD
• Felt more like a person than a problem

What surprised me the most was that all of these are apart from work. I had no idea how much ADHD was affecting my overall life. When the psychiatrist said that treating it would be really impactful to my mood, I thought she was just trying to lift my spirits and get me hopeful. Nope. She knew exactly what she was talking about.

Edit: Whoops. These all were things that improved. What didn’t improve was things that were related to other matters, such as anxiety in crowds, lack of trust in others, general sense of doom, etc., but I’m working on it! Being able to plan and follow through is fantastic. Ohhhhh, is this what executive functioning is??

[off topic?]

Any time you start a new treatment it’s a good idea to keep a log of how you feel.

So. I’ve kind of had two eye opening moments with meds.

I first started with concerta, and it was like stepping into the light. The problems were certainly not gone, but they were at least manageable. I could break out of mental loops that were not productive, and focus on stuff I actually needed to do. I still had a bit of an obsession with being as near-perfect as I could, but I could focus those efforts into things that were actually useful, instead of my mind going in circles.

It improved my emotional state. I was kind of in a long term funk of “everything is meh”, and I found myself smiling so much it hurt my face. A lot of that diminished over time, but it hasn’t gone away, it’s just less intense.

Recently I started on an NDRI, Wellbutrin, which had more subtle positive effects. Immediately I noticed the negative side effects, dry mouth, some GI issues. I stuck with it for a week and most of that has subsided. I dunno if the negatives made the positives more shrouded, or if the positives are just minor in comparison, but I find my emotional state and attitude is more on the positive side rather than sitting fairly firmly in the middle.

As for my usual ADHD symptoms, with the combination of the concerta and Wellbutrin, I have little or no difficulty doing the little routine things that I always had to push myself to do before. The phrase “super easy, barely an inconvenience” applies to all the little trivial tasks I do daily, when before it was always some level of mental effort to get myself to do things.

I feel more “normal” now than I ever have before.

In goes say, if this is how non-ADHD (and/or non-executive function disorder) people are, then I get why they don’t understand us. This is an easy, quick, and trivial task, it takes no time or effort to do… But when you have an executive function disorder, the task might as well be “climb Mount Everest” not “fold laundry”.

I can focus longer on tasks I don’t want to do, like pointless work tasks and can retain information in the shirt term longer than without meds. Completion of large and complex work doesn’t end up being a downward spiral of ‘what if’ side tracks that aren’t relevant, and refraining from speaking up when not needed is way easier. Social interactions are a lot less stressful because i say what I’m actially thinking snd not drifting into random tangents.

What didn’t work is long term retention of learned skills. Whole meds helped with doing new things in the short term even when uninterested, I still have to relearn most things I haven’t done for a few years. Honestly that is the worst thing for me related to ADHD, repeating all of the same mistakes any time i do something I don’t do regularly and instantky remembering how I made that mistake the last two times I relearned it.

Modafinil and Dexamphetamine sure - but have you tried Methylphenidate then?

(Parent with ADHD kids here)

While Modafinil has support in the literature I don’t think it’s prescribed officially for ADHD, and due to the different way they work the top choice for ADHD is usually Methylphenidate rather than Amphetamine.

Whatever works for you is the best for you though, I was just a bit surprised :)

What is your dose?