• CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    1 year ago

    Haven’t dated since my 20s. Got cheated on a lot. Like all of them. Some of them even bragged about cheating, to my face.

    In my 30s, I put 0 effort into dating. The only type of women that wanted to ‘date’ me basically wanted me to take care of their kids, pay for shit, but they weren’t looking for anything serious or any more kids (spoiler, that was a lie). Last person, someone I’ve known for years, asked if I’d be interested in having kids with her since we are getting close to 40 and neither of us had started a family yet. But, I was to be just a sperm donor, obviously be financially responsible, but have no say in anything with the kids… But it was totally going to be 50/50! Turned her away. That one tore me up because I’ve really wanted to have kids for a long time. Painfully obvious she just wanted me involved for money and nothing else. Now her mom is bank rolling all her dreams.

    I miss having someone to talk to, to make plans with, to share wonderful build a life with. But I don’t miss the drama, the games, the cheating, and the lies.

  • HousePanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    29
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I am single by choice because I am going through mental health relapse. That’s never a good time to have a relationship, as much as I would like to have one. For the time being, I realize that the single life is easier and makes the most amount of sense.

  • Cyo@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    25
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    My social skills are probably near null, I avoid interaction and just say just the bare minimum of words. And I get talkative then all I speak is about tech, science or history. Edit: And I’m actually fine as single.

  • Wolf Link 🐺@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ve always had very very low interest in relationships anyway - I value my “alone time” greatly, prefer to not have emotional responsibilities towards other people and never wanted kids / a family. I fell in love exctly once in my life and that woman turned out to be a psycho. I have absolutely no interest in trying that ever again.

    15+ years single and comfortable with the situation.

    • TheHotze@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      1 year ago

      Some of y’all might just be aromantic or asexual. I thought I just had low interest in a relationship until I realized what exactly attraction is.

    • PhatInferno@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      1 year ago

      Same boat about just low interest in relationships, im not very social and dont go out to social events often… and apps are always a bit of a joke to me

      Imo im just pretty comfortable being alone, and relationships seem like a lot of extra “work” that i probably wouldn’t care for much… if in the future i met someone and we hit it off then i wouldnt be opposed… but im really not gunna try putting myself out there/force it 😅

      Been solo for +5 years

    • 1984@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      There are people that won’t want kids, and some of them are not psychos. Some are introverts also.

      :)

      • Wolf Link 🐺@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        My ex was a psycho tho, completely unrelated to whether or not she wanted children. Some context: https://lemmy.world/comment/2313628

        EDIT: ok, linking comments doesn’t seem t work ATM, so here’s a copypaste instead:

        My ex was convinced that girls hitting / insulting men was not only completely fine and normal, but even hilarious and “cute” for some weird reason - and she legit couldn’t understand why I did not find it funny or endearing. It didn’t help that she was also visibly smaller than me (about 2/3 my height) and percieved those actions as her own unique “love language”.

        Let’s just say that there is a good reason this woman is my EX now. It took a while for the rose-tinted glasses to finally shatter so I could see the red flags for what they were, but I’m glad that psycho is no longer part of my life.

        (I know from mutual friends that she still thinks women hitting men is okay, but men hitting women deserve the death penalty)

        …from a different discussion.

  • linuxfiend@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    1 year ago

    Severe social anxiety. I can handle basic small talk, but anything resembling flirting is out of the question.

  • Nurloc@feddit.nu
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    1 year ago

    Decided after my last breakup that i cant do this shit again or i will probably off myself… Its been 10 years and now i cant remember how to talk to women…

    • RGB3x3@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 year ago

      It definitely takes practice. The more often you put yourself out there, the better you’ll get. Or you’ll find someone that loves you for not being good at talking, which is even better.

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Because I finally came to the conclusion that I’m happier, healthier, and like myself better when I’m a bachelor.

  • redballooon@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    1 year ago

    When I was single for much longer than I liked it myself, it was for a large part because, unbeknownst to me, my style of humor was quite hurtful to others, making me quite the asshole. Needed a while to figure that out, because me being the asshole was not an idea that went down well.

  • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    1 year ago

    My wife realized she wasn’t happy being married to a man and left me to date women. There was a lot I think I could have done, but I can’t change my gender. Feels bad.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Dating apps switched to mobile. When we wrote to each other on computers with physical kbds, it was like email and a long-distance conversation. Now it’s like text messages and I am not good at smalltalk. I thrived on dating apps in 2010 because I could really express my personality. It got a lot harder when everything became apps instead of websites.

    • Pixel@lemmy.sdf.org
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      That hadn’t occurred to me but you’re right. Luckily I am ok at either, but the old way was easier and better.

    • BrutalPoseidon@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’ve seen people I wouldn’t consider attractive with partners. Both genders. There might be truth to “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

      I would say just learn to talk to people. It’s practically the biggest thing. Looks only get you certain people but charisma can get you the right person.

      • 1984@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Not if it requires wearing underwear?

        Sorry, just my sense of humor.