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screenshot of r/AskReddit post by u/CriticalGeode . Title only. official phone app. Light mode.
How would you hide the body of a 165 Ib, 78 year-old white male who is approximately 6 feet tall?
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Congress?
Prop him up beside the jukebox. Fill his boots up with sand, put a stiff drink in his hand… Nobody will even suspect he’s dead!
Compost bin
Depends upon what your are hiding it from.
If the white male is a human and understands your language, maybe you can convince it to hide - in your closet / behind a tree / under a bed / behind some bushes etc.
If I answer that, then you’ll find all the other ones.
Very obvious…You hide the body at the cemetery
wait I’ve never thought about this
Just tow it outside of the environment
Into another environment?
No, no, no, it was towed beyond the environment. It’s not in the environment.
deleted by creator
Move it to heaven or hell.
We do a bit of pension fraud
Just tell him “hey, aren’t they serving dinner at the home soon? I heard it’s Jello night!” and he’ll leave.
You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
– Snatch
Someone else posted the same comment 4 hours before.
I’m not sure how I didn’t notice that but thanks.
I think getting teeth out of a dead body’s skull would be more difficult and shittier than sifting through the pig shit afterwards.
Sixteen pigs? Farm animals are expensive and so are farms. I don’t doubt pigs are a good way to dispose of a body but if you’re that well off, surely there are even more foolproof methods available.
Someone has never seen Snatch, have they?
Nails…the pigs don’t digest nails
So you call yourself fuxk spez yet you kust copy/paste your comments from older comments in the same thread?
I copied and pasted my comment from IMDb and then discovered someone else had already posted it. If I was that lazy I wouldn’t have bothered removing the other person’s line breaks.
Second best monolog in that movie. The Desert Eagle vs Replica scene is still my favorite.
I like the part when Brad Pitt says “aslkdjhgfaledkjfhgawserlfkjhawuigh?”
Damn, this guy crimes. I’m impressed.
It’s from the movie Snatch. Banger of a classic!
Do you know what “nemesis” means?
“A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt; me.”
“Horrible star trek movie”?
Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead.
You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.
They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
Well, thank you for that. That’s a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn’t mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
That’s a quote from the movie Snatch
Vinny: “Well, thank you for that. That’s a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn’t mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?”
Well, that’s just painful.
I just rewatched that classic yesterday
Classic.
Though I’d suspect you do want it in the deep freezer for some period of time, it makes the whole “blood and innards” thing much less of an issue to deal with I’d think. At least for chopping and/or bagging
So what you do NOT want to do is try to dismantle the torso. You pop the peritoneum and everything will kind of come out like a poorly wrapped burrito and you’ll have a right mess on your hands.
I don’t think I want to hang out anymore…
I love how if this were a serious post people would be up in arms. But since it’s a shitpost everyone’s ok with sharing their expertise. 😂
New meta: be as specific as possible so that others think you’re being ironic.
The “Weekend at Bernie’s” method seems to be working well enough already.
It worked with Biden for about 3 years before people noticed. (Poor form, I know, but couldn’t resist.)
“light mode”
Well done, you have managed to dazzle the blind.
:3
You make no sense, son of chronos.
I dont have a gender actually
So you represent the concept, not the youngest son of chronos?
Sure
