• ZeroCool@slrpnk.net
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        1 month ago

        These people love their magic words. Of course, they never actually work, but it’s not going to stop them from continuing to try.

        • stoly@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          These are the people who click on ads that say “the secret health fix your doctor doesn’t want you to know about”.

    • gothic_lemons@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      No he clearly means his body! A solid gold copy of his berth certificate signed at 450 degree angle sent to the general of the Duke United Merchant Bank, will quickly banishment this illegal tryannt to twatlight zone and return control of his body

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    1 month ago

    If someone steals your “vessel”, contact Starfleet immediately. If it has a cloaking device, though, you’re probably fucked.

  • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    It’s too late for this guy. He didn’t declare a fee schedule and jiggle his left foot 8 times at the time the tickets were issued.

    Don’t be like him. Contact me before any interaction with state tyrants for only $750/hr and I will teach you everything you need to know. You can be reimbursed from your straw man account that is held by the government so there’s no need to worry about the costs. Just go to my website where I sell dog bandanas with WWII insignias and click on the “Contact The Real Person” link.

    By reading this you agree to the fee schedule posted on my website. Anyone violating this will be held accountable in a court without a gold-fringed flag. I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court. An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialed twice. that is all. Furthermore…

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I wonder if cops can just hand them a card that says “Your made up rules carry no legal authority.”

    • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I funny think any of those guys would listen to a straight “You’re wrong.” Maybe it would be better explaining that they didn’t do their incantations quite right. Like “Oh, that license plate can’t be accepted because it’s black letters on a white background, which puts it in the domain of the department of commerce, who have no jurisdiction in automobile accidents.”

    • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I rewired a police station once. Literally the only poster they had up about groups to watch for was about SovCits, exactly how their nonsense “worked”, and how to handle them. It was pretty amusing, as an anarchist who wasn’t keen on that particular job.

      • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        There’s a judge that literally wrote the book on how to handle them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got the info from that.

        • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Not specifically, this was… 5 years ago? Something like that. Small rural town. I think I had a picture, but it’s long gone.

          It boiled down to “their arguments are nonsense designed to confuse you, just ignore what they tell you and ticket them. Be careful with the ones who are into homesteading, they probably have guns.”

    • verity_kindle@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      This card doesn’t matter, because I can’t read anything I didn’t write myself or download from the guy selling the WWII themed dog bandanas.

    • halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      See the thing is, they are actually US citizens, even if they want to pretend they’re not.

      We don’t just revoke citizenship because people want to claim they’re not citizens. The US, like nearly all countries, does not revoke citizenship unless the person has another citizenship, they don’t intentionally make anyone Stateless as a matter of regular policy.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        1 month ago

        That’s not entirely true, there is however a fairly specific set of actions you need to do to renounce your citizenship. If you remember the drama around Isis women wanting to return to their countries of origin the legal question a lot of times was whether they had effectively renounced citizenship, not that they had joined a state that America and such didn’t recognize as existing.

        The answer was mostly no, btw, they hadn’t actually renounced American citizenship in the way required, not that actual Constitutional definitions or legality matter to the state when it considers you an enemy, which is something these chuckleheads never really seem to understand.

  • metaStatic@kbin.earth
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    1 month ago

    Who the fuck insured this idiot? oh right, fucking no one.

    There are ways to do this shit properly but you never hear about it because it’s not as funny.

  • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    It would be even funnier if they weren’t at fault, but still ended up getting their vehicle towed.

    I don’t think they’re getting that car back.

    • PK2@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      The vehicle tow wasn’t because of being at fault/not at fault; it was due to no valid registration/license (can’t drive it away without those [in the real world]).

  • tee900@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Spending your life leaning into fictional ragebait. Do better things people. Do literally anything else.

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    1 month ago

    You can absolutely sue, but it will be for imaginary money in a pretend court too just like your fake laws.

  • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    I brought in a legal consultant, my friend, the king of the cake-eating owl monkey people. The king is not optimistic about this Sovcit’s chances.

  • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    “ACAB unless they’re targeting people I don’t like” is not the take I expected from Lemmy today

    • Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      You lack discernment. A bastard is still a bastard when he mistreats a delusional freak, but this post is about the delusional freak. There’s no reason why we can’t feel superior to both sides in a stupid squabble.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Also, I’ve seen this specific talking point like three times today across multiple platforms. Did you guys get an update or something?

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Bastards don’t automatically do everything wrong all the time. Occasionally not screwing up doesn’t make you a good person.

    • Hanrahan@slrpnk.net
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      1 month ago

      Whike you have a point, when a bastard runs into a crazy guy, mayhem ensues, this is the result.