As a Nicaraguan-born girl growing up in Miami, Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez remembers going to church five times a week. Her father was a pastor, and their fundamentalist evangelical faith taught that a woman’s role was to serve her husband.

At the same time, Mojica Rodríguez saw how essential women were in keeping the pews filled and the church running. Ultimately, dismayed by the subservient role of women and the church’s harsh restrictions on girls, she would leave her faith – and her husband – in her late 20s.

Women are less inclined to be involved with churches that don’t want us speaking up, that don’t want us to be smart,” said Mojica Rodríguez, who went on to earn a master’s degree in divinity. “We’re like the mules of the church – that’s what it feels like.”

Though the Nashville-based author and activist is now 39, her experience reflects a growing and, for churches, a potentially worrisome trend of young women eschewing religion. Their pace of departure has overtaken men, recent studies show, reversing patterns of previous generations.

  • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    When one of my buddies got married, his wife wanted it done at her family church back home even though neither are currently religious.

    Part of the ceremony included her to swear to always obey any request her husband makes, no matter what.

    And not in like an offhand mention thing during vows that gets glossed over.

    It was a separate part where she had to explicitly agree to do anything her husband says.

    He stills pulls it out as a joke when they disagree over stupid shit.

    I have no idea why it’s taken so long for women to leave the Abrahmic religions.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      Childhood indoctrination is a very powerful thing to be able to break away from. When you’re told every day to do exactly what the pastor says Jesus wants you to do from the point that you are able to understand the “do this or else” concept, it’s hard to shake that off even if you feel it’s wrong.

      • Boozilla@lemmy.world
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        Yup. It’s very difficult, it can even be deeply traumatizing for some. You can get shunned by your own family. You can get cast out from the only community you know.

      • kent_eh
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        Childhood indoctrination is a very powerful thing to be able to break away from

        Also family and peer pressure in many instances.

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
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        It’s not only you are told every day, it is like that when you are born into it. It has always been like that, it bacomes the cornerstone of what you will go from.

        Very hard to break I imagine.

        • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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          You are born into a family that practices that religion. The people closest to you insist the religion is true. Every week they take you to a stage performance where the audience all insists the religion is true and they performers not only insist it’s true but are treated as a great authority on the truth of the religion.

          You are put into youth groups and formal education programs where additional authorities instill in you the constant insistence that the religion is true. You join the local Boy Scout troop and they all insist it’s true. You go to a school run by the church. The entire class of students collectively insist the religion is true.

          Some religions, like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, send church members and their families to canvas neighborhoods, knocking on doors, delivering the “good news,” failing to convince anyone, and coming to the conclusion over time that the rest of the world just doesn’t want to see the truth that you’ve become convinced of because literally everyone in your life constantly reaffirms that the religion is true.

          The most successful indoctrination runs deep and is pervasive.

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        Yup, and in my experience, it’s strongest in Catholics. Like my wife hasn’t been to church or practiced anything in probably 20 years, but a lot of the tenets are deeply rooted in her, most notably guilt (and guilting other people, especially her family)

        Probably why Catholic girls are some of the most wacko and most fun in a particular regard. All that repressed emotion.

          • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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            It ain’t stereotyping, it’s experienced-based analysis. Catholic girls (from around the world, not just the US, nor of a particular ethnicity or nationality) tend to operate similarly in the regards I mentioned. Not to say it’s a bad thing either (quite the opposite on that last bit), it’s just apparent that their Catholic upbringing had deeply rooted effects on some behavioral patterns that were common amongst those girls I’ve known.

    • Zombiepirate@lemmy.world
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      I have no idea why it’s taken so long for women to leave the Abrahmic religions.

      Leaving a religion often results in shunning and the loss of ones entire social network; for many vulnerable people (like women caught in a patriarchal cult) this is a cost too high to bear.

      It’s a culture cultivated specifically to make it difficult to leave.

      • clockwork_octopus@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        It’s a culture cultivated specifically to make it difficult to leave

        This is a feature of all cults, not just the well known ones that call themselves “religion”

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    Having religion in politics has ruined both. It makes politicians uncompromising since they believe they have God on their side and thus people they disagree with as the devil. This forces those within a church to decide on their values and their church. This drives people out of the church until only the craziest remain. This was inevitable and they both deserve it

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      “Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.”

      - Barry Goldwater

        • kent_eh
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          He had a couple of “broken clock” moments.

          Not many, but they did happen.

    • rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works
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      Hate to break it to you pal, but religion has been in politics since before cities existed. Not really ruination if it’s been that way almost forever.

    • Zron@lemmy.world
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      The first time I read the whole bible was when I was doubting god as a teenager after half my family died and my extremely religious aunt kept going on about how they’re in a better place and I’d feel better if I went to church more.

      Read the whole thing cover to cover in about a week.

      It pretty much cemented my atheism.

      Just because you research something or even invest time and money into getting a proper education on something, doesn’t mean you support it.

    • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
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      Studying something doesn’t mean you believe it or like it. I’ve read the Bible, Koran, and a lot of the Sikh holy scriptures. It did nothing but make me less religious.

      • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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        I’ve read a quote that says something like “Study one religion, and you’ll be hooked for life. Study two religions, and you’re done in an hour.”

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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        Back in the medieval times, the church didn’t even want regular people reading the Bible. It was deliberately not translated from Latin or Hebrew to local languages.

        Turns out they didn’t have to worry so much because most people wouldn’t bother even if they could.

        Though I gotta admit that I find it baffling that so many people supposedly believe but so few take it seriously enough to even read the book they might even refer to as the greatest story ever told. Seems to me like the only logical positions are to believe and treat it as the most important thing in life, not believe and do whatever you want in life, pretend to believe to manipulate those who do believe, or pretend to believe to keep the first and third groups off your ass. Are those last two groups where most apparent believers are?

      • samus12345@lemmy.world
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        Atheists would be the best people to study religion as there’s no bias (unless they’re anti-theist as well.)

    • TenderfootGungi@lemmy.world
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      I had a Baptist minister tell me that he refused to get his masters. It involved learning to read source material. He said all of his friends that did became less religious, and he was afraid it would happen to him.

      • ArxCyberwolf
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        Nothing makes a good atheist better than actually reading the Bible in its entirety instead of just cherry picking it.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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        Doesn’t sound like he’s got much faith if he’s so worried that becoming more educated will result in losing faith. If something is true, broadening information generally shouldn’t challenge faith. And if it does, those contradictions would be worthy frontiers for scientific discovery.

        There’s a reason why more education results in less faith, and it’s not brain washing (if it was, why hasn’t it been picked apart by now?).

        A similar line of reasoning applies to higher education resulting in less conservative beliefs. There’s also a reason why religion and conservative beliefs are closely aligned about this.

      • 418_im_a_teapot@sh.itjust.works
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        Facts!

        Survey: Atheists, Agnostics Know More About Religion Than Religious : The Two-Way

        https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2010/09/28/130191248/atheists-and-agnostics-know-more-about-bible-than-religious

    • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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      I couldn’t think of anything that would make anyone less religious that taking that masters course.

      I mean, how many pictures of yahweh with his horns and giant, novelty sized cock would someone need to look at before they realise that hes just a middle Eastern Zeus?

      • Bertuccio@lemmy.world
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        Even the part about popping down every now and then to pork a mortal under questionable circumstances, who births a popular demigod…

  • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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    4 months ago

    […] a potentially worrisome trend of young women eschewing religion.

    Say what?

    Edit: Never mind. I skipped over the phrase “for churches,” which explains to whom this would be worrisome.

      • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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        You’re right. I was considering adding more of the quote so it didn’t look like I was leaving out context, but I wanted to highlight the phrase that confused me. It looks like I just ignored “for churches” mentally for some reason. I will edit.

  • TomMasz@lemmy.world
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    The major Abrahamic religions tend to be misogynistic, though some are better than others. It’s unsurprising that they’re tired of it.

  • DerisionConsulting
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    Family traditions, even ones that are actively harmful, are hard to break. This religion often seems more than an emotionally abusive relationship

    1 Corinthians 14:33-35 (NIV). Comments are in superscript:
    For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people. (Gaslighting. Also, Jesus says that he’s here to fuck shit up (Luke 12:49-53.), so either Paul or Jesus is wrong/lying. This assumes that God is real, and that the Bible is an accurate representation of what Jesus said).

    Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. (Shut-up and obey me woman)
    If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church. (nothing that you say has value to anyone who isn’t fucking you, and even then…)

  • tunetardis
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    I have mixed feelings on this. I grew up in a secular setting as my father had long ago given up on religion and my mother seemed ambivalent about it.

    As an adult, I moved to a new city with my wife who is religious, though non-evangelical. She never tried to push me into it but would disappear every Sunday morning. But after a decade or so of feeling like a stranger in my adopted city, I attended a service where I discovered they were in desperate need for musicians. So I wound up volunteering some time and in the process, met a lot of people, and one thing led to another. Today, I do have friends in the city, play in various bands around town, etc.

    Yet I still haven’t really bought into religion. I guess the value to me is that it gets my introverted ass out of the house and meeting people irl. As a community institution, it brings together people of varying ages and demographics. But it comes with a huge amount of baggage which I could frankly do without?

    I just hope that if religion fades away, there will still be something at the community level that gathers together people regularly from all walks of life. There are all sorts of special interest groups, but many of these do not necessarily attract a wide cross-section of society.

    Whatever the case, when a church closes as a religious institution, I hope that it can be repurposed to some other activity that is still community-building?

    • FirstCircle@lemmy.ml
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      Whatever the case, when a church closes as a religious institution, I hope that it can be repurposed to some other activity that is still community-building?

      There’s one church a few blocks away from here that went out of business a few years ago and is now being used as a homeless shelter by an area non-profit. I walk by it all the time and have seen the before/after. The property is finally being put to a use that helps humanity and the the neighborhood is much better off for it.

  • Hanrahan@slrpnk.net
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    So, are they.eschewing religion becase of the mysogny but still believe the god bullshit ? Or because of the patently obvious bullshit about the god thing, ?

  • polle@feddit.org
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    I wonder if the people leaving religion are stumbling/switching into things like witchcraft, esoteric, astrology.