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ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish ·
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10 months ago

Elon Musk Demands Twitter Servers Explain What All These Wires For

www.theonion.com

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Elon Musk Demands Twitter Servers Explain What All These Wires For

www.theonion.com

ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish ·
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10 months ago
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SAN FRANCISCO—As part of his initiative to streamline the back end of the platform, Elon Musk reportedly demanded Tuesday that the remaining Twitter servers explain to him in detail what all the wires were for. “These ones here—what do they do, exactly?” the company’s new owner and CEO said during a visit to Twitter’s data center, holding up a tangled clump of blue wires and showing them to a row of machines, which he accused of “taking up an inordinate amount of space without contributing anything to user experience.” “Hello? I want an explanation for what you’ve all been doing down here on company time, and if you can’t give me one in the next five minutes, you’ll all be let go. For instance, what does this red thing do? Is this where we keep the internet? Make this smaller and faster immediately. And let’s start charging users for whatever is inside these cords.” At press time, sources confirmed Musk had publicly fired a prominent CPU for loudly humming in a way that he said constituted insubordination.

For context, this article is from 2022 but it was just reposted by the Onion’s social media accounts tonight, and I’m sharing it here, because: The Elon / Trump interview on X started with an immediate tech disaster / Musk claims there was a DDOS attack on X — but The Verge is told there was not.

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  • Someplaceunknown@fedia.io
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    10 months ago

    At press time, sources confirmed Musk had publicly fired a prominent CPU for loudly humming in a way that he said constituted insubordination.

    Hmm, yes

  • adarza
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    10 months ago

    remember when elon just started yanking out servers and twitter had a sustained months-long meltdown?

  • SteveFromMySpace@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • ChapulinColorado@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I thought it was about the more recent issues until I saw your post :)

  • Cipher22@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    1/3 will need to justify their presence in writing or be removed.

    • N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      10 months ago

      “Remove all the wires, or you are all fired. We’re transitioning to the AI Cloud. You’ll all be sleeping in your office cots this month.”

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    The grammar falling apart at the very end of the title is peak Onion writing.

    • konalt@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I love headlinese.

  • uebquauntbez@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Twitter demands Elon to explain why that many unused brain cells.

  • Phoenix3875@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    The Twitter server: https://youtube.com/watch?v=12LLJFSBnS4

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