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trashcan@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Suicidal Man Urged By Onlookers To Jump From Higher Floor

www.theonion.com

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Suicidal Man Urged By Onlookers To Jump From Higher Floor

www.theonion.com

trashcan@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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NEW YORK—Pleading with the individual to think rationally, onlookers reportedly urged suicidal jumper Harrison Zwillet to leap from a higher floor Wednesday. “No! Please! Go higher!” called out just one good Samaritan from the ground below, doing her best to deter the distressed stranger from jumping from such a relatively low height. “Don’t do it! There are so many stories above you! Breaking both your legs isn’t worth it! The people who love you want you dead, not injured!” At press time, reports confirmed firefighters had arrived to carry the man to the top floor.
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  • CorneliusTalmadge@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Do a flip!

    • Repple (she/her)@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Please, old friend, don’t jump! Use another method that won’t damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.

  • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    At press time, reports confirmed firefighters had arrived to carry the man to the top floor.

    He was lucky to have such good people supporting him to succeed.

    • trashcan@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      1 year ago

      I can only hope I’ll be so lucky.

  • PythagreousTitties@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    Removed by mod

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      deleted by creator

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