• DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    My dad and my brother both have passports and travel regularly.

    I can’t get a passport because my dad refuses to give me legal access to his birth certificate to prove that one of my parents was a citizen when I was born.

    Why? Because according to the him, the government shouldn’t need that information from our family, so he refuses on principal.

    I can’t get a passport without that document.

    I can try and take my dad to small claims court, but I don’t have the money for that, my relationship with my dad is civil and functional aside from this one issue, and getting lawyers involved will destroy the family, all I want is a passport.

    He needs a psychiatrist, not a lawyer. Because he makes no sense.

    There isn’t really enough advice or support out there for children of whack job idiots.

    • JakenVeina@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Just remember. If you end up having to sue him to get this resolved, that’s not you destroying the family, that’s him.

      • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        This is very true, though I don’t really care how the family gets destroyed, I don’t want to have a destroyed family at this point in my life right now because I need their support in other ways, so if I can avoid pulling the pin on a series of events I know my father will choose to react poorly to, I want to save myself that stress.

        I know my mental health could not handle a family break down right now.

    • MindTraveller
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      5 months ago

      Sticking to his principles of what he thinks he should have to do, even though his inaction is harming others. He sounds just like those nonvoter people who hate Biden for supporting genocide so they’re gonna let a worse genocide happen.

      Fucking Kantians.

      • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        It’s so baffling because this is really one of the only things he has an issue with. Other than my passport, he doesn’t talk or act like he has any major issues with the government as a process.

        I will say, I’m not too worried that his anti-gov opinions will result in great levels of harm. My country had had a conservative party in power for some time now. I also hate the current government. My dad marches at the fortnightly pro-palestine rally in our city, and he attends antifa and pro queer events with me and my mum. Last year he phoned me to get information about the socialist party because after years of voting for the labour/workers party he’s going harder left. He values my political opinion. He’s socially progressive (despite having the wrong vocabulary to express his opinions, nothing funnier than an old bloke saying “what is everyone’s problem with fags reading books to kids!? It’s so wholesome”)

        And I would say he’s masking some of deep rooted misogyny or something and just wants to prevent his female kid from accessing basic government services.

        But he’s got no issues with women and non men having passports, and in every other aspect of my life he is supportive and wants me to succeed…he also wants me to travel, he keeps saying he’ll pay for my holiday, but I tell him I don’t need money, just his birth certificate, and he continues to say “no you don’t need that, you just need your birth certificate”

        I’ve taken him to the passport office with me and had the admin worker tell him to how face he needs to give me his birth certificate, and he told her “no, that’s unnecessary” and then he walked out and waited for me in the car.

        It all started in the last 5 years, in 2019. In my 20s, he had no issues whatsoever with anything I did, I wasn’t in a financial position to travel so I never looked into getting a passport till I was almost 30, and suddenly dad didn’t want the government in his business but only in the context of me requiring to prove that he’s my parent.

        It’s not even like I can write him off as senile.

    • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Can you just wait until he is not home and just find it and use it and then return it before he knows what’s up? I’m guessing your mother is no longer with him or you would get her to get it or talk him into it right?

      • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        That would be breaking and entering, and theft, and I also can’t be certain he even has a copy at his house, I also need to get it witnessed and notorised for my application, which is harder to do stealthily with my disabilities.

        I do not want to break the law in order to get a passport of the country I’m a citizen of.

        My mother and he are long divorced.