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Striker@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago

Help me out here

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Help me out here

lemmy.world

Striker@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago
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  • Ving Thor@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.”

    • Parafaragaramus@infosec.pub
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      11 months ago

      If i said you have a nice body would you take off your clothes and do a little dance?

      • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        “I am no longer infected!”

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Bouncy bouncy

      • whoareu
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        11 months ago

        If you throw some money at me I would

    • dalekcaan@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Remember Kif: the fastest way to a woman’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you’re in.

    • psycho_driver@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Well at least there’s something we can all agree on.

      • Ace! _SL/S@ani.social
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        11 months ago

        Relevant last place comic:

  • DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    Idk why but censoring R*ddit is way funnier than it should be

    • YAMAPIKARIYA@lemmyfi.com
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      11 months ago

      Oh it’s reddit? I thought it was censoring out a name of a planet.

      • whoareu
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        11 months ago

        Huh I thought it’s a country name.

        • xia@lemmy.sdf.org
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          11 months ago

          Given the image, I first thought it was a sci-fi planet.

          • YAMAPIKARIYA@lemmyfi.com
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            10 months ago

            It makes it funnier because it implies that earth women are a dead end for this gamer

    • zarathustrad@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I prefer Re***t

    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It’s the most ****it sentence over ever read

  • aname@lemmy.one
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    11 months ago

    If by immediate you mean in govermental decision making scale i.e. couple of weeks or months then I once saw a guy being an actual decent person to be around without expecting anything in return and he had no problem getting around.

    • Striker@lemmy.worldOPM
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      11 months ago

      Nah. You see I stay in my room 23 and a half hours a day. What I would prefer is if they could be Lured to my room and then I say the thing and then we plow. Like your plan is good but I dunno. At a minimum, how long would this plan require me to be outside of my room for?

      • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        At least 10 more minutes

        • Technus@lemmy.zip
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          11 months ago

          Well shit, that’s a non-starter then.

          • BeigeAgenda
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            11 months ago

            Better order something inflatable then, it will probably be more accommodating, and I suggest you order a wide selection and some repair kits just to be sure.

      • Ithral@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        11 months ago

        Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?

        Step two say ??? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn’t a big deal.

        Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.

    • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Yeah I know 3 different plus sized gamers who are happily married

  • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    Maybe start by not referring to them as ‘females’ or talking about ‘luring’ them to your room

    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      He calls it his lair.

      • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        11 months ago

        *dungeon

        • Zozano@lemy.lol
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          11 months ago

          **fungeon

  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    TIL: there is such a thing as a stupid question.

    • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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      11 months ago

      There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    “Plus Size Gamer”

    Dude, we’re fat or even obese.

    • proctonaut@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      morbidly sexy

      • Kyyrypyy@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Sounds like a great band name

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      rubenesque gamer

    • Zozano@lemy.lol
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      11 months ago

      Diabetes Stranding

  • MTK@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I heard that showing her how unfair it is that just because you are nice no one wants to sleep with you, is the best way to make her sleep with you out of obvious obligation to your nice personality and unjust fate

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      11 months ago

      Also in this context being weird and shy counts as nice. You don’t actually have to make any effort!

      • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.

      • CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Well maybe they’ve gotten enough nice points they can turn them in for one sex?

        • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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          11 months ago

          Of course! They showered last week and everything!

  • Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    I used to know one who would go for “here’s $100”, though that was many many years ago and I don’t know if she still lives that kind of life. I haven’t kept up with anyone from high-school, much less friends of friends.

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “You should smile more. You’d be a lot prettier”

  • muzzle@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    No clue, but I would start by not referring to them as females, just a hunch.

  • Dasus@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “Hi, I’m Gabe”

  • ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org
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    11 months ago

    “$3 million/year, 1 night/week.”

    • prayer@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      ~150,000/night is a hefty cost.

      • ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org
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        11 months ago

        To betray one’s own heart in the interest of profit, such a cost is fair.

      • Random_Character_A@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        ever been married?

  • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    You don’t have to say anything, just show them the sweet skills you’ve developed while studying the blade.

  • BeigeAgenda
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    11 months ago
    Han shot first
  • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    John Madden. Football.

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