Upon learning that the record was missed, the organizers issued the following statement: Screw you, Kyles. I’m going home.

Whoever wrote the article must not understand how time works, right?

Kyle is not a chart-topper among popular names in the U.S., according to the Social Security Administration, which annually tracks the names given to girls and boys in each state. The most recent data showed Kyle ranked 416th among male names in 2023.

By comparison, Ivan ranked 153.

Name popularity this year doesn’t matter. Infants aren’t the ones answering the call for a gathering of people with a certain name.

The Joshiest Josh still reigns supreme.

Just like Kyle to slack off when a world record is on the line. Thanks, Kyle!

They did not outdo the Battle of Josh.

Sponsored by Monster Energy Drinks?

[rolls up in a van with a huge speaker on top] “And the DNA test says the father’s name is… KYLE!”