I want to meet this person, someone with such strong opinions on food is either the most amusing person to talk to, or an insufferable zealot and I really want to know which this person is.
Someone with that many bumper stickers is always going to be the latter.
2-3 bumper stickers is ok. Over 12 is an art statement. 3-12 is deranged
Much to think about here. I count 11 stickers if we treat “GLUTEN (subaru logo) MATTERS” as a single sticker, and each heart as one sticker. Add in the GLUTEN plate, and we’re at exactly 12. Really on the border between deranged and artistic.
There’s a LARD sticker on the thingy above the roof too. We’re good.
All of them trolling too. I definitely wouldn’t talk to this person.
If you want to work at LARD your car needs at least 12 pieces of flair.
“Yeah. You know what, yeah, I do. I do want to express myself, okay. And I don’t need 37 pieces of flair to do it.”
I’ve been pleasantly surprised in the past. I’ll hold my judgement
Really makes it for me, that depending on which stickers you look at, they might be:
- vegan
- aggressively anti-vegan
- pig fucker
This is a truly amazing post. Really inspired writing. Thank you for making me actually lol and forcing my wife to listen to me read it out loud
Used to live near someone whose car was covered in “Meat is Murder - Animal Holocaust” stickers.
I bet the pig butts guy is more pleasant.
Eh, anyone who goes out of their way to shit on other people’s dietary preferences is unpleasant in my book.
It’s not even like the vast majority people who refrain from gluten just because they don’t like it or think it’s healthier. It’s because they can’t tolerate it. This car reads to me like someone ragging on people who have peanut or shellfish allergies.
To give the dude some credit, a while back it was kinda in-style to hate on gluten or think you’re intolerant to it, so maybe this is just a reaction to that?
No, he’s a gluten for puneshment.
Yes, the root of the “backlash” was people avoiding gluten after it became somewhat of a health fad. Somehow it became perceived as an elitist affectation, like “they think they’re better than us! They’re too good for our regular food!!”. I don’t really get why people care so much about what other people don’t want to eat though.
If we were placing bets, I would put money down that his love of pigs is to shit on the Muslim community. I don’t have any hard evidence to that effect, but I dunno. I just have a feeling.
I have a shellfish allergy and I rag on me all the time. The one that really sucked was developing an egg allergy. I love eggs (and before someone suggests duck eggs, they were the initial trigger. I was probably somewhat intolerant before because they gave me heartburn and some digestion issues, but 3 duck eggs caused projectile vomit, and I haven’t been able to eat eggs since).
No the vast majority do it for a health fad
Celiacs are very minimal and you can look at how impossible it was to find gluten free food until it became a health fad as evidence
As someone who can’t eat wheat, I hope it continues. My life has improved dramatically since it got popular.
It’s not even like the vast majority people who refrain from gluten just because they don’t like it or think it’s healthier. It’s because they can’t tolerate it.
Umm, source?
There was certainly a fad for going gluten free as a fad there for a while, but I haven’t really encountered any of that crowd in a bit. However, I definitely have friends with celiac disease and/or gluten allergies.
While any sweeping claim is better when backed by data that supports it, I dont think this particular case is a hill I’d die on.
What if my dietary preference was cannibalism? Then would it be okay to shit on my dietary preference?
Not eating animals isn’t a dietary stance, it’s an ethical stance.
What’s this ethical stance about?
Is it about what you eat?
Is it an ethical stance about what you eat, and therefore a dietary stance?You really chose the person saying “vegans aren’t assholes, it’s the preachy people who are the problem” to get preachy at didn’t you?
I’m not a vegan, and I’m also not a fan of vegan preaching, but veganism extends beyond diet to include other products like clothes and makeup. So it’s not entirely a dietary stance, that’s just where it gets the most contention. Most people are mostly vegan outside the dietary sphere, so there’s not much fighting to be had there.
Yes, I do know what veganism is. But in this case we’re talking about food, and in that sphere veganism is a dietary preference. That it also has other lifestyle implications isn’t really relevant to a conversation about food.
I am more than happy to be preachy about ending the suffering and abuse of literally billions of animals.
Listen, I appreciate someone who is at least not hostile towards vegans, but I hate this whole “I respect what vegans eat, so they should respect what I eat”. Sir, you are eating an animal that was most likely tortured and abused its entire life up until the point it was murdered
It’s just about the timing and choice of person you go preachy on is all.
I do not give a damn about your dietary preferences. At all, in the slightest.And so who do you choose to annoy? Obviously the person saying vegans aren’t the worst, but just “people”.
It’s like you’re trying to persuade people that they’re wrong when they say that vegans, like all people, have a range of “chill” to “insufferable”.
Don’t worry though, you have not shaken my beliefs. I just think you in particular are insufferable on this topic.
“meat is murder” is directly attacking other’s dietary preferences. The person in the picture looks like they are sharing what they love with the world.
If one feels attacked over what someone else loves, they probably need some self reflection.
I mean, sure. Theoretically.
Same as how “meat is murder” isn’t actually an attack, it’s just sharing their thoughts on ethics passively on the back of their car.Realistically, we can probably guess that the person with a lot of “meat is murder” stickers is probably about as likely to be the sort of person to say something shitty to someone eating a burger as this person is to loudly proclaim they eat twice as much meat a day to cancel out a vegan, and that people who are gluten free are just following a fad or attention seekers eating fake bread.
Beet is burder.
I would probably road rage if someone was talking smack about beets.
Any of my root vegetable homies.
Settle down, Mr. Shrute.
They don’t love gluten. Good dough, sure, but I’ve never gone “man, that gluten is unreal”.
I love seitan, as do many people, which is just wheat gluten.
But you wouldn’t call it gluten. You’d call it seitan, like you just did.
I actually do call it gluten IRL.
anyone who is that passionate about shitting on others will be insufferable tbh
the amount of stickers, humorous or not, one has in their car is directly proportional to how crazy they are.
A lot of people don’t like bumper stickers. I don’t mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It’s like a little sign that says ‘Hey, let’s never hang out.’
Demetri Martin
I have one anarchy sticker on my car. How crazy am I?
just slightly
brb plastering my car in bumper stickers
Unless artwork or travel tokens, my general rule of thumb is stickers are like emojis. The more someone uses them, the more insane they are.
I read something once that there was a correlation between bumper stickers and vehicle personalizations and aggressive driving.
I’m not a real aggressive driver anymore, but I figure every little bit helps… or can’t hurt rather.
Though I do like reading other people’s stickers at stop lights.
Best bumper sticker I’ve ever seen was on a classic VW Bug. It read: “When I grow up I want to be a limousine.”
Sponsored by their cardiologist
The person is actually a cop
Guessing they’re estranged from their family of gluten-free health nuts, now they run a pasta/BBQ restaurant and are proud of their new lifestyle. Alternately, a waiter who snapped and couldn’t take it anymore.
My guess was going to be millennial English teacher who got fed up with the new cafeteria menus and that all the good lunch spots close by are also hopping on the bandwagon. Because it’s themed and meticulously laid out, like a perfectionist English teacher might do.
Also because Subaru wagons are entirely the domain of professors
More likely someone who’s never even met someone that doesn’t eat gluten but fears and hates that they exist
It’s so sad that your identity has become pushing back against people with food allergies because it was, at one point, trendy. They just be a sad, sad person. I hope they find more meaning out of life
I want to eat at this guy’s house
Too much of this good thing could give you clogged arteries. I love bacon, but I don’t want a bacon sandwich made with deep-fried breaded ham slices in place of bread, & slathered in butter.
Shit. Maybe I do, now that I’ve written it out.
We take 18 ounces of sizzling ground beef and soak it in rich creamery butter. Then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.
Sounds like something you’d get in Pawnee from Paunch Burger.
Besides the burger size that’s a thing I’ve seen more than once, and it’s Delicious.
that’s a goodnight burger because there’s no way my body is staying conscious after ingesting that
Dude make me one too
I mean having such a sandwich even every few weeks probably won’t negatively affect you that much. It’s eating like that daily that causes problems.
A real bacon, pork roll, or other pork fat + salt processed meat sandwich needs to use waffles instead of bread. Don’t forget the Mrs Butterworth syrup because you need your daily dose of high fructose corn syrup too.
This person knows how to eat like a true Midwesterner.
Nah, it’s okay, I’m sure they’d be okay with throwing that in a delicious, gluten-packed bun. Wrapped in bacon.
You’re making me think of that old YouTube channel, where they’d make extreme, absurd foods like this. What an awesome show… Epic Meal Time! That was it! They’d wrap anything in bacon.
I bet they weigh like 500 lbs
I mean, if you run and exercise regularly, this all accurate and even healthy. Except the lard. Carbs fuel exercise or recovery, pork chops are high in protein and lean, bacon is fine in moderation and also has protien. And gluten is only bad for you if your allergic to it, otherwise you’re just eating shittier food for no reason.
But yeah, probably.
You can’t exercise your way out of poor diet. Cholesterol is a killer. Carbs, bacon, butter, are fine in moderation, but these stickers don’t tell a story of moderation.
you can love food and still know how to moderate
not me exercising specifically so i can eat more
Yes, agreed. I seriously doubt this person is doing a run before a plate of pasta.
gonna lose their fucking mind when they hear about pork belly sliders
Pork belly bao too… yummyyyy
You’re all just intolerant.
I wonder if the love pig thing is actually anti-muslim. And love gluten is to own the libs.
Don’t think so, because pigs are not kosher either.
…You can be anti-Muslim without it having anything to do with other groups of people. Not that being anti-Muslim is a good thing.
God I hate the binary-thinking world we live in.
sad beepboop sounds
My point is that the pig would not symbolize that.
Look, homie is just spitting facts and expressing their love for good things. If that’s crazy well,
“The LARD is good” is actually a decent pun.
Appropriate for all us Pastafarians. Praise the Lard!! May he bless us with his noodley appendage 🙏🏼
Praise the lard!
I do! It’s a wonderful fat for many applications. Baking, cooking, sexual lubricant, coffee creamer; you know, the usual.
