On a brisk day at a restaurant outside Chicago, Deb Robertson sat with her teenage grandson to talk about her death.

She’ll probably miss his high school graduation. She declined the extended warranty on her car. Sometimes she wonders who will be at her funeral.

Those things don’t frighten her much. The 65-year-old didn’t cry when she learned two months ago that the cancerous tumors in her liver were spreading, portending a tormented death.

But later, she received a call. A bill moving through the Illinois Legislature to allow certain terminally ill patients to end their own lives with a doctor’s help had made progress.

Then she cried.

“Medical-aid in dying is not me choosing to die,” she says she told her 17-year-old grandson. “I am going to die. But it is my way of having a little bit more control over what it looks like in the end.

That same conversation is happening beside hospital beds and around dinner tables across the country, as Americans who are nearing life’s end negotiate the terms with themselves, their families and, now, state lawmakers.

  • andxz@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I’ve been on opiates for the past decade and a half due to two failed surgeries. I’m not saying my life is perfect by any means, but I can guarantee that I’d be a worse parent and a lot less social without said opiates.

    I do take tolerance breaks and I’m (usually) somewhat strict with my dosage, but still, it doesn’t necessarily “ruin your life” even if you don’t do all that.

    Not arguing that it can’t be addictive, however. It absolutely can, but it is also possible to live with it.

    It would also be a lot easier if it wasn’t completely bound to the current doctor you have to go through. Since my second surgery I’ve had ~12 different doctors, all with their own ideas about how things should be treated, and almost none of them have paid any attention to the fact that changing medication or dosages arbitrarily messes up my daily life every goddamn time. If I could just take care of it myself it’d be way less of a hassle.

    Punishing people because they try to avoid pain is such a bad idea in the first place, as we’ll do almost anything if it’s bad enough.

    • antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 months ago

      I wonder if you could grow your own papaver somniferum? It’s the same species as poppy seeds for bagels or baking. It’s grown ornamentally so I think it only “becomes” illegal when you milk the pods. Maybe it’s too fun, I don’t know I have no experience with opiates.

      • andxz@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        If I lived somewhere suitable I’d probably (eventually) try as I have some previous knowledge of growing …stuff.

        With that said though, due to the local climate and amount of poppies you’d need even for a limited personal supply it’d be very suboptimal at best.

        It’s also a lot harder to properly dose and keep your tolerance low with poppies unless you really know what you’re doing.

    • Phoenixz
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      8 months ago

      I have no problem with people taking opioids as medication with the support of a doctor. Opioids have been used extremely irresponsible by doctors due to lack oversight and laws in the US, cussing a shit show, but there we get into legal and regulatory territories.

      As long as it’s done responsible, any drug might be useful. Ive read great stuff about LSD in mental health treatment, and would love to see more.

      • andxz@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        You can probably imagine how it was to live through that time with chronic pain. I live in northern Europe and even here doctors went from reasonable to outright hostile at the mere mention of opiates. I had one doctor write angry letters to another doctor because she had written me a 3 month prescription instead of the usual one month at a time.

        It’s taken them almost 15 years to trust me with a 6 month prescription at a time.

        • Phoenixz
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          8 months ago

          I can understand the reaction, you can’t deny the suffering that the abuse of opioids has caused in the world, I fully believe they might be a bit over protective with it, which sucks for you.

          Either way, I have no problem with opioids, or any medication (hell, even meth) being used responsibily by doctors to ease suffering and cure illnesses.

          I just think that those that are addicted (to anything, really) should be treated (forcibly if needed) and where possible cured from their addictions.

          Prohibiting drugs indeed is not a good way to go, though I would not allow substances like meth or opioids readily available over the counter either.

          • andxz@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            I’d probably be okay with over-the-counter availability of opiates in regulated doses, but otherwise I agree with you. Meth in particular afaik doesn’t have any medical uses that other amphetamines wouldn’t do better, so I’m with you there.

            It’s borderline impossible to cure someone from an addiction they’re not ready to fight themselves. You can lock them in, but then it’s simply prison with another name. Give someone a reason and the means to live a better life and they have a better chance of making it, in my opinion.